Biblical Counseling

Okay, we've been going through this series on marriage and family counseling, and this will go on for some weeks here ahead of us. This particular passage we're looking at this morning is in 1 Peter 3, verse 7. Last week, Jeremy covered, as I understand it, I trust he covered, Ephesians 5, 22 about through the end of the chapter there. He basically just introduced it. We have on the Holly Hills website audio recordings that go into more detail on that passage. When Nancy and I do premarital counseling, we cover that passage at least twice. As we're doing marriage counseling, we may go through it a number of times. going into more detail depending on what's required for each couple.

One of the things that's been pointed out is if you looked at that passage, and we had some slides that were intended to focus on this point, you'll notice that most of that Ephesians 5 passage is focused on the husband. That's not accidental. It's very intentional. But what's interesting is this passage we'll look at here, 1 Peter Three, one through seven, is a passage that does the reverse. Six of the verses are focused primarily on the wife. And the seventh verse, one verse, is focused on the husband. Now, I'll grant you that that one verse is potent, but it's just one verse.

So Paul and Peter complement one another quite well. They not only agree perfectly on certain points, but they also address issues in each of their passages that the other does not. So there's both harmony between them as well as complementary coverage. Let's take a look at this handout. It's number page 74 there. I have an intentional play on words here. Peter and Paul, mounds of complimentary passages. They both wrote with grace. What's interesting is Paul wrote this passage.

He may at some time have been married. There's no indication from Scripture itself. that he was, at least during the time he was an apostle. Although it's possible he may have been at some point in time. It is also interesting, we do know as a matter of fact that Peter was married. As a matter of fact, one of the miracles of the Lord has to do with his mother-in-law. So that indicates pretty clearly that he was married. It is even believed that there's a house at the north end of Galilee that's been excavated that has been identified as quite probably his. And that would have been the house where the miracle took place.

Paul wrote of Christ as the believer's life, Peter of things living, a living hope. He wrote repeatedly in 1 Peter, Paul wrote a practical living by making a logical connection between position and condition. Peter wrote a practical living as inaction. Let me ask you, is there a difference between those two? Oh man, what? I've totally stumped you. What have I done?

Paul wrote of practical living by making a logical connection between position and condition, while Peter wrote of practical living as inaction. Well, here's what's interesting. Gail makes the point, doesn't inaction sound more like a command? What is interesting is that Paul used much more in the way of imperatives.

You must do this, you must do that. Peter rarely did so, interestingly enough. but would write, sometimes with that, but most often with, you are doing this, you are doing that. He wrote in action. And as his standard means of talking about the Christian life and what it looks like. What's interesting is that both of them intended action. But Paul made this connection between who we are and what that means lived out. Whereas Peter just simply wrote about, here's what it looks like. And it's moving and doing, okay? Okay.

Paul wrote repeatedly of the details of our identification with Christ, whereas Peter assumed the outcome of our identification with Christ. Peter did write some about identification. He wrote about in Christ. He wrote about dead to sin, alive to righteousness. So both of them wrote about identification, principally Paul, of course. But Peter more assumed it rather than explained it.

Yes, Wayne? Wouldn't that be the difference between Peter being married and Paul having spent a lot of time in the wilderness with the Lord personally? Okay, a difference in perspective. A key thing here in looking at it between Paul and Peter, both Peter and Paul were Jews, right?

But Peter came from a substantially Jewish standpoint. It wasn't until later on that he had spent any time with Gentiles. He wrote from a Jewish standpoint. With Paul writing substantially to Gentiles and to the Gentile standpoint, though he understood the Jewish viewpoint well and expressed it well, he wrote from a Gentile standpoint, and the Gentiles made no connection between having some kind of faith or belief and having that impact your life.

We think of faith that somehow connects naturally with how I live and morals and I ought to do this and not to do that. The Greek and Roman mindset was not that at all. They would even pray to steal better and to lie better to their pagan gods. There was no connection between having a belief or a faith and how they lived. If anything, it was the opposite.

Help me to be more devious, they would pray. Help me to steal even more slyly. Let's jump down here to 1 Peter 3, 1 and 2. It's at the bottom of page 74. Anybody in need of a handout here? At Holly Hills we're always giving handouts, you know how it is. Anybody else?

1 Peter 3, 1 and 2, in the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands, so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives as they observe your chaste and respectful behavior.

What about that couple of verses that agrees with what Paul wrote? Submit. Okay, good. And what else? The two things for the wife in Ephesians 5 are submit and, like Donna pointed out, and what other word? The very end of Ephesians 5. Their behavior. Okay, the behavior, yes. But what else is there that Paul says? Respect. Submit and respect. Paul starts off the passage with submit and he ends with respect. Peter uses those two exact same words, submit and respect.

So Peter and Paul are in agreement. But what's different here is Peter is also dealing with something that Paul does not. And that is, what if the husband is not a believer? So Peter addresses that. How would that come about? Just put yourself back in New Testament times. How would that come about that he'd have a significant number of women to address who are believers and their husbands are not believers? How would that come about?

Well, they were probably both non-believers and one of them heard the gospel. That's right. They're both non-believers and one of them, the wife, hears the gospel. And how do you deal with it? In the Greek and Roman culture, the wife was expected to follow the religion of the husband. So as soon as she becomes a believer and the husband does not, what kind of a problem do we have here? Her belief in this Christ, who's Christ? Her belief in Christ would be looked at as domestic insurrection. Domestic rebellion. What? If you're worshipping a God I haven't even heard of. I don't even want to hear about Him. See? It would be looked upon as outrageous.

So Peter tells them to yak and yak and yak about Christ, right? Tells the wives to yak and yak and yak and yak and yak about Christ. Is that what he says? No. What does he say? Without a word. It was put this way some centuries ago Preach the gospel all the time. If necessary, use words. Peter's instruction here? Don't say anything. Let your life just scream it out. That's what he's saying. By your behavior, you will preach the gospel. That's what he's telling them. He says, don't make the gospel an issue of domestic insurrection. of a domestic rebellion. He says, just live it.

That's the best. So that's his instructions to the wives with an unbelieving husband. Anybody known a believing wife, an unbelieving husband? Yeah, oh yeah, it happens. It happens for two or three different circumstances at least that I can think of. Nancy and I know of one couple back in Carson City where the husband and wife were believers and now the husband is a very... We're unbelievers? Excuse me, we're believers and the husband is now a very staunch, at least as he speaks, unbeliever. And so it makes a very difficult circumstance because the husband's reversed. And so a circumstance like that can be tough. But the believing wife and the unbelieving husband, Peter rather, says exactly how to handle it, doesn't he? Preach the gospel all the time. Just hold back on the words. Okay? Hold back on the words. Okay, let's go to the next page there.

One of the key things here, Peter uses, and it's interesting, Paul is prone to use words like this too. He uses a word for financial gain, that the husband may be won by the behavior of the wife. It's a gain, it's a plus. Put it in the plus column, that the husband would be won over by the wife's behavior.

Have any of you seen that? A husband who doesn't believe, and a wife who does, and a husband who's won over. Bev, you're saying, yeah, I've seen it. My late husband. I saw him leave before we got married. Ah, okay, yeah. And won over. Right. Yeah, yeah. And it's wonderful to see. I knew a couple that, they attended Peninsular Bible Church where I was at. And after four years went by, it suddenly dawned on him one Sunday morning, I'm not a Christian. Ding! Lights went on, okay? So anyway, that was neat to see. 1 Peter 3, 3 and 4.

Your adornment must not be merely external, braiding the hair, wearing gold jewelry, or putting on dresses. but let it be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God." In the culture of the time, many of the wives were not paid much personal attention by the husband. But the wife was expected to be, as much as possible, a trophy wife. And they would have all sorts of ornate jewelry and they actually, you know, trellises like they have for gardens, they had trellises that they put on the back of their head and they'd have hair all interwoven and all sorts of things in order to come up with this fancy, you know, hair arrangement. And that's what he's talking about with the braiding, the hair. It's not simply the usual braiding but all this winding around trellises and, you know, the patterns of ins and outs and wrapping and all that. Is he saying, don't do any of that stuff? No buttons, no jewelry, no rings, no, you know. Is that what he's saying? No. What's he saying is really important here.

Let it be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit which is precious in the sight of God. Precious in the sight of God, who does the valuing? God doesn't. And guess what? A godly man will value as God values. A godly man will value as God values.

This Greek word adornment is kosmos. We get our word cosmetics from that, so it's a very appropriate and relevant term. Now, let's move on to verses 5 and 6 there, 1 Peter 3. For in this way in former times the holy women also who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, being submissive to their own husbands, just as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him Lord.

And you have become her children if you do what is right without being frightened by any fear. What are some of the values of the things that Peter has written here from verses 3 through into verse 6? What are some of the values of the things he has written? Hope? Okay. Why do you say hope? Because it says, in this way, in former times, the holy women who hoped in God adorned themselves. Okay, all right. So it's where's your hope is a big part of it, isn't it?

We have today, and I think our media and especially our ability to adjust things electronically and with airbrushes and everything else. Our media has created a culture in which the females of the culture are under tremendous pressures. And this starts young. And we have everything from eating disorders to people who go for endless plastic surgeries. Nancy and I have heard of women who have gone for in excess of two dozen plastic surgeries trying to pursue this mythological female perfection. people falling into depressions and terrific anxieties. And part of what this helps deal with is the very thing that makes so many women in our culture ill from all the pressures about how do I look, how do I look, how do I look, how do I look, is addressed right here. He says, what really counts is what's deep and inside. And what really counts is what the Lord values.

Isn't that a good thing? It's really good news, isn't it? Because it's not a constant worry about something that's just superficial. Does the real substance of life consist of just cells and molecules? Because the real substance of life can depend on what you can measure with a measuring tape and broadcast over the internet and put on the front of magazines. Is it that thin?

No, what he's saying here is it's actually depth and it's spiritual depth and it's a character that has eternal substance to it. Great significance. So this is actually just a wonderful piece of news, even if it is almost 2,000 years old. Paul had made some of these same points, certainly some are different here, but he made some points.

Let's ask that very last line in verse 6, if you do what is right without being frightened by any fear. What's that about and why is that of any importance? You do this right without being frightened by any fear. Let's ask this question. What are some of the things that women in our culture can be afraid of? The husband making the wrong decision. Oh man! You decided what? Yeah. Okay. So the husband made the wrong decision. What else? What are some of the things that women in our culture can be afraid of? What else have we got here? Domineering husband. Unloving. Okay. Domineering and unloving husband. Yeah.

Where's my security? Feeling insecure and especially with this husband, he doesn't seem to get it. That insecurity can be a number of different things. It can be financial insecurity, insecurity about your position with your husband. If you're not married, you're in security about, am I going to have a husband? Am I good enough? Can I get a man? Can I keep a man? Yeah, that can I get a man, can I keep a man issue is a biggie, isn't it?

And a great number of women in our culture are preoccupied both ways. Even one of the things we've pointed out in past weeks is that a lot of what our culture presses towards which is the premarital sex, shacking up before marriage, those kinds of things. One of the things we pointed out, and this is what the sociological studies are showing, women pay the price for those arrangements. They pay the bill.

They're the ones who have the babies. They're the ones who have the babies. They also have the, they pay the emotional cost. The husband leaves. Yeah. The women are the ones who take it for these relationships that our culture presses towards. Seriously. They are the ones who pay the price. They pay for it physically. They pay for it emotionally. They pay for it for years and years. It's extremely costly to them. And so, you know, that's one thing. There is a lot of substance to what Peter writes here. Generational. Good point. It's a generational thing.

One of the points that he's about to make here, too, is that women have multiple vulnerabilities, emotionally and physically, that men do not have. And so when relationships between men and women are not biblical, the women pay the price. Do men pay the price? Yeah, they pay it, too. The women, much more so. Much more so. That's one of the reasons why the exhortations here. One, he's saying, women, you can trust the Lord.

If you do what is right without being frightened by any fear. And by the way, what does that tell you? Do you do the right thing because you're afraid? No! Isn't that good? This is not, do the right thing, because otherwise, all sorts of goblins are going to come. No. It is, do the right thing, without fear as the motivation. Isn't that good?

Trusting the Lord, not because, oh, I'm afraid of this, I'm afraid of that, I've had this fear, I've had that fear, I'm anxious about this thing, and I sure wish... No. It's trusting the Lord, and fear is not the motivation. doing the right thing by God's grace, not because we're afraid.

Let's take a look at the next verse. You'll find that highlighted there on page 76. What's interesting is Nancy and I go through this passage with couples and marriage counseling. This verse we will spend a lot of time on. Verse 7. Matter of fact, we'll even come back to it again. It's a key one. Let me read it.

You husbands, in the same way, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with someone weaker, since she is a woman, and show her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered. This is only three lines and not even quite that in this prayer now. It is potent. It is power packed.

Okay. Let's take a look at it here. Here is, remember, it says live with your wives, but guess what? It isn't an imperative. This is a present active participle. Okay. This is Peter's manner of writing. Remember we said that Peter writes in action. Husbands, in the same way, living with your wives is more the idea. Intentionally living with your wives in an understanding way. This is stating how Christ lives in and through believers with their wives, and I put in here one each. in an understanding way. And the word that Peter uses for understanding, gnosis, means intimate familiarity. So what does that mean? Let me ask you this. If a husband is to live with his wife in an understanding way, what does he need to understand? What does he need to understand? By the way, there's a lot of answers to that question. Don't worry about it.

Go ahead and say something. How to love her. Okay, good. You're off to a great start. What next? That she's weaker. Okay, good. And how do we know that? Because she's a woman. Alright. And how do we know that? It says that. Oh, okay. Alright. And what else? What buttons not to push? We've seen the diagram here where the guy is represented as a panel with one switch and the woman's got buttons and dials all over the place and lights blinking.

Okay. What else do we need to understand? That she's different. That she's different. Okay, good. What else? We're not done, by the way. Gail? Isn't she often more intuitive than he is? More intuitive. Okay, that's a part of the difference, isn't it? How she thinks differently. Good. What else? Alan? Understanding God's plan for marriage. Bingo! Okay.

In other words, what you look at is you've got the understanding is what does God say. The other part of understanding is her. So you've got here's the understanding of what God's Word says and then here's an understanding of her. Now, of course, that's a piece of cake. About five minutes you got that all covered, right? Not so much. Pardon?

Yeah, the truth is to become, here he puts it down there, husbands live with your wife in an understanding way. Oh boy, is that easily said. Oh wow. It means understanding what God's Word says about the marriage relationship. That's what we're spending time doing here, but that in itself is quite a chore. And then it says understand her.

And by the way, is that static? No. She keeps changing. The circumstance keeps changing. And then a new kid comes into the mix. Yes. Yeah, we keep changing. So really, look at this. This is a huge challenge to the guys and he's only gotten through the first line.

Not even quite. Guys, how many of you fully understand all of what God's Word says about the marriage relationship? Got that down pat? Alright, then, how many of you just thoroughly understand your wives in every essential detail? Now, you see, this is a huge challenge. This is a massive undertaking. Who feels adequate for this task? I'm glad I didn't see any hands up on that one. Because here's a key thing. This is not something that we in and of ourselves have the adequacy and capacity for. This is, as you really understand it, if you really understand it, this is something that is intended to be done only by the Lord's empowerment and His grace and His sufficiency and His adequacy. Right?

This makes me think of We'd been married about 25 years and went to visit a friend of ours who was single and he said to us, don't you just kind of get bored after a while? I mean, after maybe three or four or five years, don't you know everything about the other person and doesn't it get boring?

And we looked at each other and started to laugh because that very week we had discovered something new about each other that we'd never known. Yeah. And we've discovered many since. Yes. And it was just kind of fun to be able to say, no, it's not like that at all.

There is a great deal from the very first pages of Genesis to the very last pages of Revelation, there's a great deal in Scripture about the marriage relationship. And so understanding that is quite a task. And it is one, frankly, we never come to a place of check it off, I'm done. And understanding the wife is also because, apart from anything else, we've mentioned it's not a static circumstance. She changes. He changes. Circumstances change. Okay? The Kirby's just had a big change.

Okay? All of a sudden, you know, okay, I got this relationship with this little critter in here and, you know, all of a sudden what you thought you understood, guess what? You've got some more to learn, see? And so when Nancy and I are sitting down and counseling with a couple, if the guy says, I got that covered, we know they're in trouble. Okay? We know they're in deep yogurt. Okay? Okay.

These are both profound challenges. Now, there's something, there's a hidden implication in here that is also very important and very powerful. Let's look at the second part, understanding her. Does the wife have a part in her husband understanding her?

Yes? Okay, Bev says yes. Anybody disagree? Okay, Bev, why don't you explain why? Yeah, this is this is how I'm feeling about this This is why I'm doing this or this is why I'm hesitant to do this or all those things. Yeah, that's right Yeah, there is within this an implication that the wife has a part in communicating to the husband so that he can understand. There may be things she herself doesn't understand, but to the extent that she can help him in this, she actually has a cooperative part in this particular aspect of him fulfilling his role. Yes. I was just thinking, in Ephesians 5, where it says that the husband washes the wife with the water of the word, and it's the spoken word, not the written word.

In that case, there are times when you have helped me understand something about myself from your insight that I didn't see. And so, talking with one another, not only am I telling you who I am, But you are sometimes able to put things together that I have not. Understanding, a husband understanding his wife is not simply an academic exercise.

I don't go out and get a master's degree in Nancy. But there is in fact, one thing is just to recognize, hey, I have to understand her. And secondly, that my living needs to be in accordance with that understanding. And that understanding is a pursuit and it's also a communication. We haven't even finished the first sentence.

You husbands in the same way live with your wives in an understanding way, comma. Can you see how big a set of words that is? That's really big. That's really big. And it's a part that it has the implication of communication. It has the implication of the husband listening very carefully. Very carefully. As with someone weaker. Now, that's as denigrating as it can be, isn't it? Not so much. What does he mean by that?

When he spells this out, remember one of the things we said, if you look at, as we looked at statistics two weeks ago, if you look at what is the impact of premarital sex, who pays the price? The woman substantially pays the price. In shacking up, the woman substantially pays the price. Even if the couple ends up getting married later, the woman substantially pays the price.

She is the one who is vulnerable. Let's talk about continued vulnerability. So here's Vernon and Nancy. They get married after a few years. She has a Randy. Now, she has had this baby in her for nine months, and she's got all these connections to this baby, and the baby is completely dependent upon her. That connection there and that dependence is unique.

Yeah, Art? Dr. Jeremiah, speaking on this very point, said that the divorce rate Oh, yes. Yep. Yeah, count on it. But the situation is as the marriage relationship progresses, there are all sorts of vulnerabilities that she has. And I'm not saying he doesn't have, you know, some vulnerability or involvement or he doesn't love the child or anything else, but she has a particular connection or vulnerability He does not.

And let's ask about something else. Remember previous verses, here's the woman, okay? And she has maybe gained this guy's heart and she's thinking, you know, well, I gained him, you know, his heart because, you know, I worked on my weight and, you know, my figure is all great and all that and all of a sudden she's eight months pregnant. And what's she wondering? Is he still in love with her? Yeah. Is he still attracted to her? Yeah. Is he still attracted to me? And some husbands give a definite impression that there's a no answer to that. Yeah.

There's a vulnerability. And so then where's the security? So yeah, I mean, there's a whole bunch of issues that start to come up there. She is the one who's definitely vulnerable. Something else. She goes through this monthly cycle. Before the marriage, she goes through this thing and then partway through the marriage, the monthly cycle that she's been going through, which has her on this roller coaster, all of a sudden it starts to falter and then finally comes to an end. All these changes, all these vulnerabilities are there. She has lots of vulnerabilities.

I think that's what he's talking about. He's not talking about anything denigrating at all. He's just saying that because she is a woman, because remember that's what he puts here, because she's a woman, there are vulnerabilities that she has that the man does not have. So the question is, what does the man do with that? Does he take selfish advantage of it? Does he laugh at her? Does He shun her? Does He look down upon her? What does Peter say to do? Show her honor. Why? Just because you're supposed to? Why? What's the reason for showing her honor?

Show her honor as a fellow heir, a joint heir of the grace of life. She has the same spiritual position as you. Her vulnerability is for a time. Her position in Christ is just like yours. And you've got nothing in the way of advantage over her. She, like you, is seated with Christ. She, like you, is in Christ. Just like you, Christ is in her. Joint heirs of the grace of life. As we look through this, this giving honor is another one of Peter's present active participles.

So he doesn't say, man, you've got to give honor. He just says, put it in action. Put it in action. That's his focus. He's not sitting there driving home the imperative, pounding the desk. He's just saying action is what counts. He says, I don't want a lot of, you know, weasel words. I don't want a lot of superficial, you know, comments. He says, I'm looking for action here. Looking for action. Matter of fact, later on, he talks to the elders and didn't even call them elders by title. He says, get shepherding. Be shepherding. Action.

So here, as he looks at it, And then the last part, husbands, that your prayers may not be hindered. Now why would he have this prayers not be hindered part at the last of it? Is the Lord kind of holding your prayers for ransom? Husbands, you live with your wives in an understanding way, knowing that she's weaker as a woman. Show her honor as a joint heir of the grace of life. Or boy, your prayers are just going to hit the floorboards of heaven like it's made of brass. Is that what he's saying? Prayers are going to go bonk and just fall on the floor. They're going to be prayer words just littering the church. Is that what he's talking about? Let's think about this. The man who lives with his wife in an understanding way has a spiritual perspective.

Oh yeah, he's going to be growing in it. He doesn't understand everything, but he is seeing the need for it. And he's pursuing that. And he is recognizing who God has made her to be, but he doesn't let those vulnerabilities look as, boy, this is some opportunity for selfish advantage. I'm going to push her buttons and twist her knobs and all this stuff this way and that.

But no, he says, showing honor as a joint heir to the grace of life. This husband who is doing these things, living with his wife and understanding away, showing her honor is the kind of husband who is going to be praying the sort of things that God wants to hear. Does that make sense? He's going to be praying the things that God wants to hear. Even if it's in the nature of, Lord, help me understand her. Even if it's in the nature of, Lord, let me see how you value her.

But the husband who says in his mind and maybe even directly to his wife, I don't care to understand you. I don't care what you think or how you feel. This is what I want and that's what you're going to do. The husband who says, you know, you're struggling because of your hormones and I've had enough of it. Go fly a kite. or some other choice words.

And the husband who has no recognition at all of his wife as a joint heir to the grace of life, of having the same position, that kind of husband isn't going to have much of a prayer life either, is he? No. You see, it all goes together, doesn't it? The husband who lives with his wife in an understanding way, and recognizes the need for that.

Both what does God's word say and what's her character? What are her needs? And who recognizes who God has made her to be on purpose. And realizes who her position is, who she is because she is in Christ just like he is. That husband who recognizes and sees those things is going to have a prayer life that counts for something. And God will listen to her. Even if the prayer is, Lord help me understand her, because right now I'm not sure I do. See, the Lord's going to listen to that, isn't He?

Well, you know, I think one of the key things is just recognizing, you know, here we have this marriage relationship and, you know, you go down to the courthouse and pay your fee and, you know, get some pieces of paper exchanged. And as far as the world's concerned, there's just some little legal transaction that isn't all that expensive. But what the Lord has called us to is something that's just so phenomenal. It's just so amazing. Am I going to constantly come into challenges to my own adequacy? Oh yeah. Yeah, I will.

And the husband who doesn't think he is, is really in deep trouble. In fact, the reality is the spiritual growth of the husband and wife are tied together. And the husband is to be pursuing This is the Ephesians 5 message. Remember the second kind of love, sanctifying love? The husband is pursuing her spiritual growth.

That's what God has in mind. And that husband is going to have a heart that is going to be coming to the Lord. Even admitting all the time his inadequacy in himself. And that's fine. And the Lord will hear those prayers, won't he? The Lord will hear those prayers. You know, it's amazing.

The world has all kinds of jokes, even whole sitcoms, centered around, you know, goofy things in marriage. And it's funny, the pattern in most of the sitcoms is to position the husband as some kind of a 12-year-old in a big body, you know? But that's not what this is calling for, is it? This is calling for a husband who has growing insight from God's Word and from a relationship with his wife.

We even sell things that way. We even sell things that way? We even sell things by advertising. Oh yes, yeah. Advertising, yeah. The guy's a doofus. That's right. The guy's a doofus and he might also be a liar. Yeah. And that's why the hot pockets are gone. Right. Odd pockets are gone because her husband took them outside. But when you ask him about it, you know, yeah. That's right. He can't talk because the inside of his mouth is so burned it's terrible. But anyway. But yeah, he's a doofus.

Any other thoughts, insights, questions, comments? You know, one of the things I was going to mention, one of the joys that we've had, the 44 years we've been married, was the fact that the first five years, we really didn't know anymore. We may have been saved, but I don't know for sure at that point. We were both raised in solid Christian And therefore, we kind of grew at the same, generally at the same pace. Now, there are times in which a shootout will maybe, and maybe a few times later that will be a very precious time.

You should never say that, but I will. Because I didn't understand We guys have excuses for everything. Because we have a whole catalog. I was busy building airports and all these things. I traveled a great deal of the time. I was gone three days out of the week, at least. Sometimes four.

She was always patient. to understand me, much more than I was to understand church. And I started learning these things a lot more, and it was through the word. And as we got deeper into the word, the more these 44 years have taken on much deeper meaning to us. Isn't it interesting that as time goes by, a couple will either grow spiritually, or as you hear other situations, grow apart? You hear that? Yeah, it's amazing.

It seems like now there are more and more that are in the 25, 30 to 50 year, almost 50 year marriage cycle that we're getting divorces. That you didn't hear back in our parents' day. I think a part of what happens is that the culture has nothing to offer But romance in the marriage relationship, and frankly there's a love hormone that lasts for about 12 to 18 months, so that's your best start. But the culture has nothing to found it on.

What we're looking at here is a solid foundation underneath the romance. The romance has basis. And frankly the romance has eternal basis. That's real different. It's not just a fleeting, we fell out of love. Well, we grew apart. No, this is an eternal, solid basis. It's founded in who God is and what God has done and who we are in Christ. That's wonderful stuff. That gives us a solidness and the substance to a marriage that the world can't even hope for.

We run out of time? Let's pray. Lord, as we see Peter's insights into the marriage relationship, we just do want to thank you. We pray that you would draw our hearts and minds, Lord, to understanding of what these words are telling us by your Holy Spirit. And teach us, Lord, throughout the days and weeks ahead. In Jesus' name, amen.