Sarah's Example and Husbands Respect Your Wives
1 Peter 3:5-7 · Andrew Molloy · Sep 27, 2026
1 Peter, No. 21
Holly Hills Bible Church
https://hollyhillsbiblechurch.org/teaching/messages/9272617235418

Transcribed from the recording by SermonAudio, so expect the occasional misheard word.

Okay, we're at 1 Peter, chapter 3. Last week, Roger, you took us through 1 through 4. And 1 through 4 is this, I'll read it. In the same way, and we're addressing wives:
1 In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if
any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the
behavior of their wives, 2 as they observe your chaste and respectful behavior. 3 Your
adornment must not be merely external—braiding the hair, and wearing gold jewelry,
or putting on dresses; 4 but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the
imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God.

So this, in many ways, we're still on this section, these four verses.

We're still on the same topic this morning of wives submitting to your own husbands. And if you do it in a sanctified way and you Peter said we're all living stones. We're all sanctified in that way. We're strangers and aliens in this world. He says abstain from fleshly lusts and keep your behavior excellent. He's covered that in the previous section. So if wives would enact that that type of life they can win over their unbelieving husbands in that way. It'll be a tremendous, what's that word I'm looking for?

Example. Well, Andrew, you know, it's interesting that this is one of the few places in the scripture where the Lord tells us how to win somebody to Christ.  Actually, we even had Bob shared that he was an example of that. That was pretty amazing. And thanks for bringing that up. I've never heard a better illustration of these four verses in first peter chapter three as 
Sharon, as she did the exactly these things.  She, without a word, she just patterned her life after in a chaste and respectful way and won over Bob before she passed away. And that is, and so if you want to listen to that, I think he, Roger, did he go into that last week?

Yeah. Well, he, it's on the, if you listen to the tape, it should be on there. Yeah. He described it. That was really good. If anyone's listening, go back to last week's and where you cover, where Roger covers the four verses here, we're still in that section. So, oh, the word I was looking for was testimony. The wife provides a testimony without even the husband picking up a Bible, right? What's that phrase we often use? Sometimes you're the only Bible some person will ever read. Your actions. So here's the new material for this morning in verse 5 through 7. So he gives us an example of the verses of one through four.

He says:
5 For in this way in former times the holy women also, who hoped in God, used to
adorn themselves, being submissive to their own husbands; 6 just as
Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, and you have become her children if you
do what is right without being frightened by any fear.
7 You husbands in the same way, live with your wives in an understanding way, as
with someone weaker, since she is a woman; and show her honor as a fellow heir of
the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered.

So in verse 1 of chapter 18 of Genesis, it says, the Lord appeared to Abraham by the oaks of Mamre while he was sitting at the tent door in the heat of the day. When he lifted up his eyes, that's Abraham, and he looked, behold, three men were standing opposite him.

And when he saw them, he ran from the tent door to meet them and bowed himself to the earth, and said, My Lord, if now I have found favor in your sight, please do not pass your servant by. So this is the Lord himself, isn't it? It's not an angel of the Lord. This is Jesus Christ himself that shows up at Abraham's camp at Mamre, and that's why I have that picture of the oak at Mamre there on the title slide.

So, skipping down to verse 9, Then they said to Abraham, Where is your wife Sarah? And he said, There in the tent. He said, I will surely return to you at this time next year, and behold, Sarah your wife will have a son. And Sarah was listening at the tent door, which was behind them. Now Abraham and Sarah were old, advanced in age, and Sarah was past childbearing.

And here's the key verse, verse 12 of Genesis 18. Sarah laughed to herself, saying, after I have become old, shall I have pleasure, my Lord, being old also? So she calls Abraham her Lord right there. And that's where Peter gets this by Sarah obeying Abraham and calling him Lord up there in verse six of our text today.

So verse 13 of Genesis 18, and the Lord said to Abraham, why did Sarah laugh saying, shall I indeed bear a child when I'm so old? Is anything too difficult for the Lord? at the appointed time i will return to you at this time next year and sarah will have a son sarah denied it however saying i did not laugh for she was afraid and he said no no but you did laugh so they're having a little argument right how how would you do you have a i don't think that's ever happened before no no no arguments ever the apostles they didn't argue back and forth with uh... christ while he was here on earth did they but And I kind of discovered this week that... This isn't, I always thought this was a laugh, a ha ha ha laugh, but it's not that kind of laugh.

It's a laugh of, she was incredulous by this information that she could have a child at, how old was she, 80 or 90? 80, I think? 80, so it's a laugh of incredulity, which is when someone says something just too outlandish or impossible, like, I'm going to play in the Bronco game tonight. You'll be the starting quarterback for the Broncos.

You kind of chuckle at that. It's a laugh of incredulity. It just can't happen. It's not a laugh. And I don't want to get too much off the track here, but she knew her husband. And that nails to stop there. But he says, this is not going to happen. Yeah, right. It's not going to happen. It's contrary to nature. Exactly. Yes, it's contrary to nature. It can't happen.

But yet, she's talking to the Lord himself, and he's going to do it, right? So it's just a laugh of I just did it there, that sort of that where you're just shaking your head. That's the laugh. So I always thought it was a humorous laugh, but it's not that. It's incredulous that she was chuckling there.

So here are the ways that Sarah was submissive to Abraham. For instance, I have some examples. Here goes my phone. So in Genesis 12, 13, Abraham says to Sarah, please say that you are my sister so that it may go well with me because of you and that we may live on account of you. And that's because they were in Egypt for famine and she passed, Abraham passed Sarah off as his sister so he wouldn't be killed. for and they take Sarah away to Mary off to the Pharaoh of Egypt so that was in Genesis 12 13 and that was right after he got this promise to go to Right after the promise of him being the father of many nations, just a couple of verses later, he did this.

But she went along with it, right? She said yes. She submitted to this... Would you say that's an ill-advised request? I think so. Oh yeah. She was going to be part of his harem. Yeah, so ill-advised. It was not good. She submitted to her Lord Abraham. Then it happens again in Genesis 20 with Abimelech. He says, Abraham says, she is my sister. So take her into your harem. So you don't kill me. And so I make a note here that you see how Sarah is suffering under this this situation By her husband passing her off into two harems already so far That's suffering, but she's still She's still submitting and how about this?

Genesis 12 when the Lord God promises a seed and a nation to Abraham. And Sarah is involved there, for it says in Hebrews 11, by faith even Sarah herself received ability to conceive and beyond the proper time of life, since she considered him faithful who had promised. That's God who had promised. So she was submissive to this, God promised Abraham, but she's involved too because she's She had, she's, they're a team, right? They have, it takes two to have a son, Isaac. So she is submissive there.

And then finally, when she was Sarai, way before this, in Genesis 12, when God first said, Abraham, get up and go forth to the land of Canaan. to this land I have shown, I will show you. So he got up and he packed up his stuff and he went, and it says here in 12.4, so Abram went forth as the Lord has spoken to him, and Lot went with him, his nephew Lot. Now Abram was 75 years old when he departed from Haran. So that's Sarah too, packing up, the stuff, and going along with Abraham.

So that's submissiveness there. So that's, I think, why Peter uses Sarah in these examples. The second example, now this, Hannah is in this narrative, but why I include her is because you see up there in verse 5, it's holy women, plural, right? So we have Sarah.

So I was just thinking, and I think Hannah would come under this example regimen as well. So Hannah is, we remember from 1 Samuel, Samuel 1 and 2, she was the wife of, she was one wife of two of Elkanah. The other wife was Peninnah, and Hannah was childless, and Peninnah was having all the babies. But Hannah was suffering, and she was under suffering too, in this condition. So I'll read from 1 Samuel 1.

When the day came for that Elkanah sacrifice, that's Hannah's husband, he would give portions to Peninnah, his wife, and to all her sons and daughters. But to Hannah, he would give a double portion of sacrifice, for he loved Hannah, but the Lord had closed her womb. Her rival, however, that's Peninnah, would provoke her bitterly to irritate her because the Lord had closed her womb. So Peninnah was rubbing her face in this situation.

Year after year, it says that in verse 7, it happened year after year, as often as she went up to do these sacrifices with with Elkanah to the house of the Lord, that's in Shiloh, Peninnah would provoke her, so she wept and would not eat. So Hannah is suffering here in this situation.

Yet, I make the observation, and I think it's correct here that, because it's not in the narrative of this story in 1 Samuel, you don't hear anything from Hannah. She did not openly complain to her husband, Elkanah. or raise objections about Peninnah's behavior.

You see how I bring up the fact that it seems her hidden man of the heart from our text last week is coming out and she's chaste and respectful and she's not repaying evil for evil. I think Hannah is an example of this text in 1 Peter chapter 3, 1 through 4 as well. Her chaste and respectful behavior. So Hannah's manner of life in the section that we covered last week, she's exhibiting a quiet and gentle spirit in the midst of intense suffering.

She is set apart and precious to the Lord. And for this, the Lord gives her the desire of a heart, because what happens then, she prays as she goes into this temple in Shiloh, and she prays and prays. and through tears, and the priest thinks she's drunk. And so the Lord gives her Samuel, the great prophet and priest Samuel. So she gets the desire of her heart there.

And I think that's because of her chaste and gentle spirit, her hidden man of the heart from last week's text in verse 4. of our Peter text here. Okay. Example three, um, I have is since we're studying women, plural, I have Ruth. Um, and I think Ruth is an example of this, her submissive and gentle and quiet hidden man of the heart, um, started not with her husband initially, right? Cause she didn't have a husband. She was a widow. Uh, Naomi, she was married to Naomi's son. And Naomi's son died. And they were together over in, where was it? It was in Edom, I think, right? Or Moab. Moab. Moab.

And so Naomi wanted to go back to the Bethlehem area where she's from. And she said, OK, you and Ruth and you other girls, The wives of her other sons just stay here and it's been nice knowing you but I'm gonna leave and go back to To the to my homeland here But Ruth said and here's here's the text and Ruth said entreat me not to leave thee or to return from following thee after thee For whither thou goest, I will go, and where thou lodgest, I will lodge. Thy people shall be my people, and thy God my God." So she goes back to the Bethlehem area with Ruth, with Naomi, I'm sorry.

And I put in the King James version there of her entreaty, just because it's so nice with the old English. And it reminds, have you guys ever heard that song by Les Paul and Mary Ford, Whither Thou Goest? From the late 50s, it's really good. This has a lot to do with immigration, too. Yeah, they're gonna immigrate over back into her homeland So it's a it's a very it's a great song and it those are the words whether thou goest I will go Yeah, it's fantastic old 50s song pop song, which is pretty good So there's Ruth.

So she goes back with Naomi. And through her submissiveness to Naomi's coaching, she was coached to go and glean in the field. And there she is gleaning in the field. She wins the heart of Boaz. And Boaz is her eventual husband. And then, of course, she's a wonderful wife. Precious to the Lord again. She becomes the mother of Jesse and Jesse's the father of King David and then on to Christ himself right the Messiah her himself, so that's Ruth's the way she Would adorn herself with this up with this inner quality the hidden man of the heart So would you guys agree? She's a good example. Yeah, that's great. I Good. So we're on the same page so far.

So we'll move on to verse 6 then. And I ask here, what does it mean when Peter says, and you have become her children if you do right? Just as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him Lord, and you have become her children if you do what is right, without being frightened by any fear, is how verse 6 reads. Peter is still addressing the wives from verse 1 of chapter 3. And I think this is the same spirit as...

We were in Galatians last time in our last study, the last study that we did. We were in Galatians. And if you remember in Galatians chapter 3, Paul says, and if you belong to Christ in 329, and if you belong to Christ, then you are Abraham's descendants, heirs according to promise. And then he says in Galatians 431, so then brethren we are not children of a bond woman but of the free woman and he's getting to the fact that we have uh it is christ who has set us free from the the bounds of the the the the law and from all things law so he's saying we're we're children of sarah in a way the free woman um so i think it's in this spirit that this uh verse six of first peter chapter three is is in um As you remember, up in 327, we have clothed ourselves with Christ, and we have the freedom in Christ then to live a separated life to God, doing what is right. And separation is, of course, sanctification, and we are sanctified ones in Christ. So, in that way, you can see how a submissive wife is a child of one of Sarah's children, by obedience, is what Peter is getting at here in verse 6.

Now, verse 6c, the last part, is a really challenging little phrase. Without being frightened? Yeah, if you do what is right without being frightened by any fear. And if I looked over, and a lot of commentators skip it, you know. Of course, they do. Yes, so I got no help. But actually, Constable, and there's several options you can interpret that little C phrase by.

And I like how he says it. He says, don't be afraid of any terror. He says, if suffering comes your way, And as long as you're doing right and living right in a chaste manner, and that the trial, the suffering isn't coming because of your sinful behavior, but in spite of it, So what he's saying is, you're acting in a right manner, yet you're suffering.

So in that way, you have the confidence that the suffering is godly suffering. You see what he's saying there? It's suffering with Christ. Now, if a wife is sinning, then suffering can come as a direct result of sin. But you can take heart if you are living in this right way, this sanctified way, that suffering isn't because of any sin. You can have confidence that it's godly suffering.

And I like his take on that phrase. And there are other takes on the phrase, too. But it's just a confusing phrase to put at the end of the verse without being frightened by any fear, because it doesn't have context. What is the wife frightened by or something? And another option could be that Yeah, it's a good option. So this is a situation where her husband is unbelieving, right? So he's an unbeliever.

So as long as the wife submits and she does what is right and is living right in this chaste, respectful way, as she ought, She doesn't have to be afraid of anything he could do to her as well, because the Lord would protect her in that way. I've seen that option as a possible interpretation of that, too.

So yeah, it's a little complicated there, but so you guys can have whatever option you want on that phrase. Hey, Andrew. Yeah. Just in sharing on that, I was thinking of the verses in Philippians that we've studied, that we share in the fellowship of Christ's sufferings. Yeah.

In Philippians 3.10, and also I guess in Colossians, it explicitly says that he rejoices in his sufferings. to fill up what is lacking in Christ's afflictions for the sake of the Church. So there's a couple of examples from the text of Scripture in regard to that. And could you say, too, that we could go along with this spirit, too, and say, Because of that, we don't have anything to fear in suffering. Not only wives, but us.

Mike had a comment. Do you think all of this befell because Abraham feared death? What do you mean? Yeah, let's see if... Well, I'm scared of getting... Oh, I see. Yeah, I see what you're saying. Okay. Yeah. No, no, I don't think that... I don't think Abraham is in view here. I think it's just Sarah and her example or... But that's that's a good point because they are in verse six here together abraham obeyed sarah calling him lord um But yeah, yeah, you know Mike you could yeah, you could You could play that out and look into that. That's an interesting take on it. Um It's just that it's a tough little nut to crack isn't it? that little, that little C phrase.

But I think, and if you remember to Roy's point, right before this, at the end of chapter two, we have Christ, who is our pattern of suffering. He did that on the cross. So we are also to not fear any of this suffering, because as he suffered, it says we will suffer too, and we have nothing to be terrorized about that end. So I think that's the spirit of this phrase that Peter's getting at.

Oh, so this gentleman, I just know him by S.R., and F.W. Grant quotes this gentleman with the initials S.R., and he says, the saints of God are duly marked out by two relationships, one as daughters of Sarah, emphasizing the willing, positive spirit of subjection, to the children of Abraham and that goes along with up there in the previous points of Galatians chapter 3 doesn't it and and Galatians 4 31 and We're also children of Abraham and that emphasizes our faith in God So there's two relationships and what he's saying is that That's why Peter has this in verse six, and you have become her children, Sarah's children, if you do what is right, as daughters of Sarah, emphasizing a wife's willing, positive spirit of subjection. So I like that dichotomy of the two children of Abraham and Sarah.

I'm to seven, and now we get to the bad part, because it's me and all you gentlemen out there. Well, you only left a small amount of time, too. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Good job, Andrew. Oh, and we're out of time, so I'll have to... So now we have a little bit of time to cover verse 7. Joey, take all the time you want, really. Yeah, address this. Please. Address this, husbands. Now we get to husbands.

So it says in verse 7, You husbands, in the same way, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with someone weaker, since she is a woman. And show her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered. So that live in the same way, live with your wives, that's sunokeo, which is soon, S-Y-N is with, and then okeo is to dwell. So with-dwelling is how it is.

But it's, This is a really special word, this dunokeo. It denotes union. And I took this little bit right out of the Blue Letter Bible. It's a primary preposition denoting union. with, or together, by association, and it has the quality of companionship, and process, and resemblance, and possession, and instrumentality. You could say it's beside with.

And in the Greek, it also includes completeness. You see how it wraps up all those things together? in this word asunakeo, to live with your wives, it's much more than living amid your wife or living beside your wife, or sometimes I'm guilty of living in the vicinity of your wife. under the same roof. So yeah, that's the words pera or meta, but this sun is much more involved in that and with the oceo, this dwelling. So, it says, live with her in a knowing way, gnosis is the word for understanding. And it's a special, that word for understanding or gnosis is also special, because it's a special knowledge, and it incorporates morality, live with her in a morally centered way.

2 Peter 1.5, in the second epistle of Peter 1.5, he says this, Peter says this, now for this reason also, applying all diligence in your faith supply moral excellence, and in your moral excellence, knowledge. So that's the same gnosis word that we have here.

But you see how that knowledge in 2 Peter 1.5 has wrapped in it moral excellence and diligence.

So it's a very loaded type of living with your wife in this very special, connected way, this complete way. Macaulay says, as husbands are to understand our wives, understand their needs, our wives' emotions, her weaknesses and strengths, and put that all together. And what they call that in Modern psychology is emotional intelligence, I think is a good way. So that's what that phrase, living with your wife in an understanding, that has all that wrapped into it. So a very, very, very special, very, very hard to do, but we are to do it. And when it says, live with her as someone who is weaker since she is a woman, and that sounds like, well, since she is a woman, that sounds like a dismissive, right?

But it has this in mind. It's have this in our mind. And I mentioned this at Clark and Kelly's wedding. It's a divinely ordered creation of God. Eve was taken out of Adam, he took one of his ribs out to form Eve. Paul clearly states this in 1 Timothy 2.13, for it was Adam who was first created and then Eve. So it has that order of creation that we are to look at too and keep that in mind.

And it says, live with her as someone weaker in the new American standard. A lot of the other versions of the Bible have the word vessel in there, right? As a weaker vessel. So again, this gentleman, SR, I like what he says about the weaker vessel. He says, the weaker vessel does not surely mean the lower vessel, to be treated with kindly contempt, for the text teaches us just the opposite. Nor is it the weaker morally, but it means more fragile, with less strength, and therefore requiring care, love, and protection.

It suggests the dependent position of the wife, which, when forgotten, leads her and the husband astray. And just in the case of Eve, you can see how she stepped out on her own there with the serpent. And that didn't go well, did it? So it has that still in that mind that Eve was taken from Adam in the original, in Genesis.

How about this, the Berean literal translation states, verse 7, this way, husbands do likewise, dwelling with them according to knowledge. I like that phrase, according to knowledge. as with a weaker vessel, with the female, rendering honor as co-heirs also of the grace of life, in order that your prayers not be hindered. So now Peter also brings up the fact that they are our wives, our fellow heirs. So that refers back to this biblical, this doctrinal concept of heirship that we have in Christ. so for instance in first peter 1 4 um we started out this this epistle peter he says with an inheritance which is imperishable and undefiled and will not fade away reserved in heaven for you he's talking about our salvation now we have this imperishable, undefiled inheritance in heaven reserved for us. And so what he's saying is, we have it and as husbands and wife, we both have it together because we are partners, we are an army of one. There's two of us, but one is a major and one is a sergeant, is how the wife is to submit, just in that military type of fashion.

And Paul says it this way about being joint heirs with Christ. He uses the phrase, joint heirs with Christ. He uses the phrase, heirs according to the promise of Abraham. And he uses the phrase, heirs according to the hope of eternal life. So that wraps up all this wonderful news about us being heirs together with Christ and together with our spouse, right? So we are equal partners spiritually in the heavenlies. And that's kind of a cool thing. So that, That is why the wife is to be honored and put on a pedestal and all that wonderful stuff that the marriage vow kind of entails.

So lastly, going back to Hannah and Alcana, I think they represent this verse 7 very well. You, from the text of 1 Samuel, I'll read from verse 3, and this is Alcana, and this is, this man went up out of the city yearly to worship and to sacrifice unto the Lord of hosts in Shiloh. And when the time was that Alcanna offered these sacrifices, he gave to Peninnah his wife and to all her sons and daughters portions. But to Hannah, he gave a worthy portion, for he loved Hannah, or a double portion. We covered that before. So that is one way that Elkanah honored Hannah, his wife. And going down to verse 8 there, Elkanah says to Hannah, Hannah, why weepest thou?

And why eatest thou not? And why is it thy heart is grieved? Am I not better than ten sons? Oh, I see why I'm struggling over this. I copied this from the King James, and it's got all the King James version of it. So sorry for getting tongue twisted there.

But so the same narrative we covered earlier, but you see how Elkanah is treating Hannah as a joint heir here. And this is the way that a husband should treat his wife. And moreover, I think it illustrates how Alcana lived with Hannah in an understanding way. You see how he understands her, and he looks out for her interests, and he checks in on her. You see in the narrative of 1 Samuel, chapter 1, that he really has a heart for Hannah. And I think that illustrates exactly what this verse 7 in 1 Peter chapter 3 is saying.

Not only that, but what happens, Hannah prays for a son, and she gets Samuel. But I would bet you that Elkanah, her husband, was also praying for Hannah. Would you think that would be the case? He was a moral man, so he was praying too. You can see, so his prayers were not hindered. Hannah's prayers were not hindered, just like it says in verse seven. And I think that's how to describe that phrase in verse seven. You live like Hannah in Alcana, and your prayers won't be hindered. And she let that, the actions of her rival, Peninnah, just kind of roll right over her. And the Lord rewarded her for that. So that's pretty great. Yeah.

I'm thinking of Ephesians 5.25.

Husbands, love your wives even as Christ loved the church and gave himself for it. But in marriage, co-crucifixion. Unpack that a bit there. Well, I was just thinking, you know, we're co-crucified with Christ, and that's that identification that they both can answer to Well, were you right? Yeah, cuz yeah, the husband and wife are in the same because that's addressed the cookers We are both co-crucified together husbands or wife equally so and that all Yeah, I see what you're saying there There's a partnership there.

There's a there's an equality there and And what we have here, Peter is just, I think, doing the living, you know, because doing the earthly living under suffering is challenging sometimes, and I think Peter is addressing that with these verses. So it's sort of the rubber meeting the road here. And sometimes that's hard, isn't it? If any of you are married, it takes a lot of prayer and some work, doesn't it?

Amen. And that's it. We got through it. What is your point? Yeah, we got through it alive. And next week there's more. we're still in that, he still brings up some Old Testament concepts. Right. So we'll look at that. This is sort of like the summary next week of, they call it the summary of submission or something like that. The summary of submission. That's, yeah, good. Yeah. Okay. I'll title the next week's lesson that. I think it was. I think it was. Yep, that's great.

But also with co-crucifixion, there comes co-resurrection. Yes, that is true. It's all co. It's interesting, Mike, how those words we are And it's in the Greek, it's soon co-buried, co-crucified, co-buried, co-resurrected. I think that's what establishes a marriage. Yeah, yeah. Amen.

And this is interesting because this is a marriage passage from Peter. And of course the most famous, I'm sure you're using, Roger, in your son's wedding from Ephesians chapter 5. That's sort of the main one. In other parts here, marriage is addressed.

And it's very informative. And it's interesting how he says to wives, be submissive to your own husband. And that word, own husband, is always used throughout with Peter and Paul. So it's very cool how the doctrine is well established here. So great. OK, I'll close in prayer.

Our Heavenly Father, thank you for this study in the gift of marriage that you've given us that establishes so many great things here on earth with husbands and wives and then with children and that in the institution of marriage it It is to illustrate that we, as a church, are Christ's bride, and how you love the church, we are to love our wives, and you illustrate it in such a vivid way here, and we thank you for that, and we pray these things in Jesus' name, amen.