The Book of Hebrews - What God wants in fathers & mothers - 1 Thessalonians 2:7-13
1 Thessalonians 2:7-13 · Vern Peterman · Jun 15, 2014
Hebrews, No. 56
Holly Hills Bible Church
https://hollyhillsbiblechurch.org/teaching/messages/4926431312943

Transcribed from the recording by SermonAudio, so expect the occasional misheard word.

Good morning. As you may recall, the first week we were looking at parenting principles in scripture. There were two tools that we began with. And just to remind you, we have the first tool is discipline. And the next tool is instruction, and we explain that that word specifically means to place it in the mind. That's the emphasis there. Last week we looked at example. Now your third tool, we're going to discover three more in today's passage here, Randy read for us.

Here's 1 Thessalonians 2, 7-13, and what we find here is I've got it color-coded. Hopefully that makes sense to you. We've got a section in red that talks about a nursing mother and the characteristics of the nursing mother. We have in blue the part addressed to the father. and verses 10 through 12, and then 13 is the children, or in this case it's directly addressed to the Thessalonians, but there's a reason why we apply this to children, and their reception of it.

Now you may look at that and say, I can't tell the difference between that and the flag of Gambia, but at any rate, we'll work from that theme. What you do have on your handout here is a timeline looking from the time of Christ and the time when Paul was converted.

He became a believer. That was a dramatic event recorded for us in the book of Acts. You have here in Paul's second missionary journey, now him going to Thessalonica. While he was well received by the believers, he was not at all well received by the Jews.

And so shortly after being there, he had to leave, but he writes back to them shortly thereafter. I mean, we're talking months here. 1 Thessalonians was written from Corinth shortly after Paul had been in Thessalonica. to the believers in the church there. They were only months old in the Lord when Paul wrote to them. I tried to think of some comparison. Indigo is now about six months old. Isn't that amazing? And so what we have here is about half the age of Indigo. These believers are very young believers, a few months old in the Lord. So very young.

Now, just to kind of give it some context, here's Acts 15 through 18 with Paul's second missionary journey. And Paul goes to, just looking more closely here, he goes to Thessalonica and then goes down to Corinth. And it's from Corinth that he's writing this letter. So there's the two places there. And that's what Thessalonica looks like now, a built-up area, but then the old archaeology still remaining in some areas. Here's Corinth the way it looks now.

Now, Paul was writing about the character of his ministry, that's what he was directly trying to do, and their reception of it. That was his address. Since Paul was writing about his ministry team and the believers' reception of the Word of God, we can apply these truths of this passage to whatever ministry God has for us.

And in the case of parents, it's very fitting. Since Paul writes about the work of his ministry team by making a comparison to a mother and a father, we can learn about the character of a godly mother and godly father. So he's not intending to write a passage directly talking about parenting, but in the process of doing so, he reveals what a godly mother and father would be like. So here's 1 Thessalonians 2, 7-9, But we proved to be gentle among you, as a nursing mother tenderly cares for her own children, having so fond an affection for you. We were well pleased to impart to you not only the gospel of God, but also our own lives, because you had become very dear to us. For you recall, brethren, our labor and hardship, how working night and day, so as not to be a burden to any of you, we proclaim to you the gospel of God." Now, here is the character of a godly mother comes out.

One is gentle. There's a gentleness there. This word describes a calm kindness toward the children. Paul told Timothy that the Lord's servant should display the same gentleness to all. So it is not one specifically and uniquely to a godly mother, but it's certainly one that is fitting and fully biblical. So gentle is one of those.

Another is among you. The godly mother is not someone who stands aloof and at a distance. The ministry that Paul and his team had was not at a distance or at a pedestal above them. Paul would have liked to have been there himself, except that he was essentially driven off by the Jews of Thessalonica. He was right there in their midst.

A godly mother is right in the midst too. So it's not something you just hand off. Alright, next. Tenderly cares. Now this is a word that is the same word that Paul used to describe the care of Christ for the church. Isn't that interesting? It's a kind of care that nourishes towards growth. Christ nourishes us in the church body towards growth. A godly mother does this as well. She nourishes towards growth. It's aimed towards growth. Now, having so fond an affection for you, we were well pleased to impart to you not only the gospel of God, but also our own lives because you have become very dear to us.

So let's look at the word so fond and affection. This Greek word that's a four words in English. This Greek word conveys both a desiring of a personal closeness to the ones who are cherished. So part one, and also having desires for their well being, okay, closeness and well being. So that comes from the that comes from the heart, doesn't it?

Now, the next part in verse 8, giving her life and his life-giving message. Paul writes, we were well pleased to impart to you not only the gospel of God, but also our own lives. So this is the example that he gives out of that of a nursing mother. A godly mother is motivated to give of her very life and to impart the gospel of God, his message, his life-giving message.

Now, there's this word imparting. The word behind well-pleased indicates both pleasure in the imparting and a choice to do so. Got that? Pleasure in the imparting and a choice to do so. The imparting conveys giving a part of what one has to share. A part of what comes out of this passage is that the mother is not just giving the child something because they think it's good for them, but she is sharing what she has herself, spiritually speaking, She's not sharing something that's totally foreign to her. She's sharing something that is her own. She herself has owned her relationship with the Lord. She herself is growing in the Lord and she wants to pass that along. The godly mother then chooses and takes pleasure from sharing who she is, that is, who she is in Christ, and what she has physically, emotionally, and spiritually.

He says at the end, you had become very dear to us. The word translated very dear is from a kind of love that is self-sacrificing and not dependent on the receiver of the love to deserve it or to reciprocate. It's not an I love you because. You had become very dear to us is self-sacrificial, unconditional love. That's what he means by that. You had become ones that we came to love unconditionally, regardless of your behavior. This is the kind of love that Christ had for us when he loved us and gave us his very life.

And we see in Galatians 2.20 the words love and gave, Christ loved and gave.

Ephesians 5.2 and 25, twice in that chapter, loved and gave. A selfless, unconditional love. Not a self-seeking love, not an I love you because you're lovable. but an unconditional love as Christ's love for us. So here's verse 9.

As you recall, brethren, our labor and hardship, how working night and day so as not to be a burden to any of you, we proclaim to you the gospel of God. Paul is describing how he and his team worked day and night, and actually he uses the sequence night and day, probably in Paul's tent-making trade so as not to be a burden.

Working and working and working so as not to be a burden. Now, you know how it is with kids. There's going to be a lot of work involved. Lots. Lots of work. It is something you're going to put a lot into it. You're going to pour yourself out as a parent. That's going to be the character of it. So that sums up being a parent, right? Labor and hardship, working night and day. That's the deal.

If you had in mind taking it easy, pick something else. Being a parent is not for you. Being a parent is not for you. Parenting can have its returns and rewards, but hard work is often called for, motivated by unconditional love that payback, oftentimes for parenting, isn't for decades.

Hopefully. Now, I put this in here because when I was being, you know, growing up on the farm, I was a cowboy, right? And, you know, my folks had to deal with me, and it was just, it was a lot of hard work for them. And for me, anyway. Alright, so now we're going to go on to verses 10 through 12. Alright.

You are witnesses, and so is God. how devoutly and uprightly and blamelessly we behave toward you believers just as you know how we were exhorting and encouraging and imploring each one of you as a father would his own children so that you would walk in a manner worthy of the God who calls you into his own kingdom and glory so our kids are our witnesses And so has God. Our children are certainly watching everything we do, and sometimes intensively so. It's been discovered that babies study almost with a scientific method. And they're looking at mom and dad and seeing what happens.

If I do this, I get attention. I like it. If I make this noise, I get milk every time. That works. So they study very carefully. So they're a witness. This has to do with what they are imitating by example as well, as well as what they will say in later years. Oftentimes, kids will fight and buck. I recall a conversation that Nancy had with our second son, Ed, and she was trying to do some correcting and all that, and she turned around and says, and when you're a parent, turn around and do this too, and he said, yep, oh yeah. Oh yeah.

God is witness too, and the most important one. And it isn't just so he can hold us accountable, and it isn't just because he knows all things, but it means that he cares for and loves us. He is looking, he isn't just saying, oh heavens, I forgot about Vern, I haven't thought of him for days. He's looking at everything. He's not overwhelmed and he's not sidetracked. He loves us and cares for us and that's why he watches. If he didn't care, he wouldn't watch.

Now, here we have it. Devoutly, uprightly, and blamelessly. These are examples. So this is to build on what we taught last week. Three godly characteristics. Let's take a look at each one of them. Devoutness has to do with holiness. Holiness is a part of God's very character, his own character. As his saints, we are holy by position. But here's Paul, he wrote to the believers in Corinth. They had lots of problems, big problems. Great problems, but he started off addressing them as saints in position. Saints in position. He even wrote them and told them that they were sanctified.

But here it's talking about a holiness that is lived out in our daily condition. Day to day. This is lived out holiness. By His life and not our own. This is not our own best efforts to live holy. It's His holiness and His life lived through us. That's how holiness gets lived out. That's what pleases God, not our best efforts to try to be holy.

The next you see is the word translated uprightly means righteously. Righteously, living out the righteousness of Christ who is our righteousness. So, devoutly, meaning holiness. Uprightly, meaning righteously, Christ's righteousness. Again, it's not our efforts to be righteous. It's Christ's righteousness lived in and through us. Thirdly, blamelessly means that a true charge cannot be leveled against us.

That is also by His life, too. So this isn't something I'm saying, you know, you need to go out and try to do this. All these are to be lived out by Christ's life. Christ is holy, Christ is righteous, Christ is blameless. It's His life that's going to pull this off, not our best efforts.

But these are things that are examples for our children. Examples to be lived out devoutly, uprightly, and blamelessly. Now, we get into this next part just as you know how we were exhorting and encouraging and imploring each one of you as a father would his own children. Here are three more tools. Three more tools. Remember, we said there's discipline and instruction and examples. Three more tools in this verse.

Here we see some definition of a godly father's roles. Exhorting is being called alongside, using a word that is sometimes translated to urge. The Apostle Paul would write things like, I urge you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, And so he would use this word to be called alongside. So now we have encouraging is similar to the word translated exhort, but with greater tenderness implied.

Isn't that interesting? It has much the same meaning, but in this case, greater tenderness. So is a father always to be hard and distant? No, that's not biblical. This is. So this is very much like the previous word, exhorting, but there is a tenderness there.

Furthermore, it's translated encouraging. And so one of the things to consider here is, as a father, am I doing something encouraging or discouraging? Which one is this doing? Because the encouragement is to be, even in a difficult circumstance, uplifting. Imploring is, and this is a word, it's interesting, it is a word that means to witness. That is, to tell the truth back. To tell the truth back. So this is one of the things a father is to do, is to feed back the truth. Feed back the truth to the child. A key part.

So when you look at it, we've got three different things. here, they're all three of them parenting tools, and it's directed to the father. It's very interesting that with all the things we looked at, except for example, discipline, instruction, exhorting, encouraging, and imploring, those five are directed to the father, and specifically said of the father. It means that the father has to understand them and take the initiative to carry this out. It's directed to the father to do this.

All of this has an intended spiritual outcome. So that they would walk worthy of the God, and by the way that's what it says there, the God. Walking, being a step-by-step ordering of their lives. That word walking is interesting because it's a Jewish term. And you find it in Genesis for example. Here's Noah walked with God. Enoch walked with God. So very early in the Bible it shows up.

It turns out that walking is an individual ordering of one step, one step at a time, based on a spiritual foundation. Walking is also used in the Bible of those who walk in evil ways. It's based on a spiritual foundation. So here, walking, being a step-by-step ordering of their lives, all of this is a key part of the intended spiritual outcome. We don't want biblical theoreticians. God is not looking for biblical theoreticians, people who just know a lot of stuff about the Bible. It's not what he's looking for. It's real and practical, not simply hypothetical.

The real walking worthy is not just focused on behavior. This is a key thing It is easy for Christians to just get focused on behavioral and morals, and as parents, focus on that. When the reality is, the walking starts from somewhere spiritually. It starts from somewhere spiritually. And this is key. For the parent to be able to pass on a walk with the Lord to their children, they've got to have it themselves. where there's nothing to pass on.

So it's not just moralism, it's not just do the right thing, don't do the wrong thing, it's not just simply trying to shape behavior, you're starting with where they're at spiritually, and you're sharing what you yourself have spiritually as a parent. Walking worthy isn't pretending, it isn't acting, it isn't yielding to parental pressure, nor fake it till you make it. Ever heard that? It's not fake it till you make it. It's carried out by Christ's life as we fellowship with Him in the parent, and that's what the parent is trying to pass on to the child. Christ's life as we fellowship with Him.

Now, certainly we're going to have to teach them practical things like how to drive. We're going to have to do that. You're going to have to teach them it's a lot easier to drive a Jeep when it isn't frozen. You're going to have to teach them things when it's time for them to drive. They're going to want the latest model, and you're probably wise to talk them out of it. It's just a good idea. Now, if they'll settle for something more realistic, they'll be fine. They'll have a ball. It'll be no problem.

But the last part of this passage we look at is Psalm 145, 11, and 12. It talks about the kingdom and glory. What's that about? Here is Psalm 145, 11 and 12 that puts those words together. They shall speak of the glory of your kingdom. So the glory and kingdom go together. And talk of your power to make known to the sons of men your mighty acts and the glory of the majesty of your kingdom. So when it talks about glory, those words glory and kingdom here are connected. Now let's ask this question. Wait a minute, that's the millennial kingdom. That's the kingdom that will be for a thousand years. Christ will rule the earth. He'll be king of Israel and king of kings and lord of lords over the gentile nations.

What part do we have in that? We will be with him as his bride. We will be with him as his bride. And then when we get to verse 13, when we see our children responding, when we see our children receiving what we've been seeking to get across to them, it's not time to pat ourselves on the back. But this passage makes clear it's time to thank the Lord. Thank the Lord for what He has done.

Not, boy, I'm such a great parent. Frankly, most parents don't have the, boy, I'm such a great parent problem. Most parents, they get in some kind of a mode where, boy, I would have, I should have, I could have, and that kind of thing. But a key thing is to be thankful, to be thankful.

The other thing that comes out of this verse, what God's Word conveys is not just another person's opinion. And the children need to understand this, that God's Word isn't just something Mommy and Daddy like. It isn't something Vern's just crazy about and likes to talk about on Sunday mornings. It is the Word of God.

That's what these Thessalonians understood. And Paul's recognizing that. And they received it as such. It also, in this passage, tells us that it has the power to impact as deep as the touching point between soul and spirit. This is Hebrews 4.12. The Word of God is not just some nice guidance or wise words or something of that sort. It has personal, deep power. And your kids need that personal, deep power and they need to see the deep, personal power of the Word of God lived out in you in order for them to know that it needs to be lived out in them. They need to see that.

Now, as Paul brought up Timothy. Now, Paul did not, in fact, bring up Timothy. Timothy was already a young adult. But Timothy, as you know, was a half-Jew. That's what this puzzling picture is about. Timothy was a half-Jew. He had a Jewish mother and a Greek father.

So, Paul brought up Timothy in the ministry, but it is still a lesson for us in, okay, how do I bring up someone? In the beginning of Acts 16 we see how Paul chose Timothy to come with him for the ministry to the Jews and Gentiles in the Gentile lands. Being half Jew and half Gentile, he was well suited for talking to the Jews and the Gentiles.

So Timothy first took instruction from and watched Paul. Then Paul watched as Timothy carried out ministry. See that? And finally, Timothy was sent. Often when he was sent to ministry somewhere, he was sent with someone else. He was, for example, in this Acts 17 passage, with Silas. So working alongside somebody. So notice the first thing. Timothy is going to watch, and he's going to receive instruction. Then, with supervision, with overview, He is going to then carry out ministry. And then finally, Timothy would be sent out.

There are parallels here to how kids will be raised. So what I have is the next slide. To raise kids right, go fly a kite. Which sounds like a very strange thing to say. Let me explain that. Raising kids right involves giving them the tools for living, including the things we've talked about here. The tools for living, then giving them the latitude to put into action what they just learned. See that? You have to give them the latitude to put into action what they just learned.

A kite cannot be flown by either holding it tightly, hold the string tight. What's going to happen? It's not going to go anywhere. It's going to be as close to you as you hold it. Or by just letting the string go. How do you fly the kite? You get it from right next to you to way up in the sky by letting it go a little at a time. Giving it a little more freedom, a little more freedom, a little more freedom. It's flown by gradually letting go.

And this is the nature of parenting as well. Similarly, children need progressive freedom to carry out what they've learned, but restrictions of those freedoms at times may be needed in order to get a message across. We'll talk about discipline a couple Sundays from now. Now, I want to bring up something because it was pointed out to me last week that I had not explained enough about value and worth and how the father is the primary person for communicating value and worth.

There are examples from this from both the Old and New Testament. Here is out of the New Testament, Ephesians 1, 3, and 4. Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places in Christ, just as He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world. Realize before God said, let there be light, He chose us in Christ. Isn't that amazing? Before God said, let there be light, He chose us in Christ, before the foundation of the world, for what? That we would be holy and blameless before Him.

Does that communicate value? You have value, but where is the value with you in Christ? When did you actually become in Christ? When you believed, but God knows everyone that's going to believe. Christ conveyed value in Ephesians 5, 25 through 27. Husbands, love your wives just as Christ also loved the church.

Here's the loved and gave, right? And gave himself up for her. Value, okay? Value. He loved the church and gave himself up for her so that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, that he might present to himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she would be holy and blameless. You've been chosen to be holy and blameless and that's what's going to happen, okay? That's what's going to happen. Value is communicated from the Father, value is communicated from Christ, right?

Now, let's take a look at another instance. In the Old Testament, the patriarchs Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob were very much about the blessing and the blessing tended to be given right towards the end of life. So the father here communicates value by giving this blessing and of course the sons are very eager to get the blessing from the father. What I would say though is that Jacob was a scoundrel and he didn't do a great job raising his sons because many of his sons were scoundrels. So while this conveys value It needs to be lifelong, not just at some point in time towards the end of my life.

So as parents, what do we do? Bless them. Yes, bless them. But it's lifelong. Parents, and mostly especially fathers, do bless your children. You can bless them at any and every age as long as you're still around, but do bless them. You can bless them in words and in touch. You can bless them in godly instruction and in training. You can bless them even in later years by praying for them and for their children. Nancy and I pray for our kids and their spouses and our grandkids every day. We pray often for them.

About the baton that you're passing along. These words are meant to encourage reflection, not to recommend self-flagellation. Not trying to make anybody feel bad. However, each of us is passing a baton. I would say do it deliberately. When I was in high school track, we would practice not just running, but passing the baton. How do I pass this baton so I don't drop it? Oh boy, that's going to mess you up. So I don't drop it. How do I pass the baton in such a way that it's well passed, and that we don't have some fumbling, or when are you going to give it to me, or some wondering. Pass it well.

By God's gracious provision, we've been empowered, enabled, and energized, and all three of those words are used, for the opportunities that God has placed before us with our children, and I would say even for grandchildren, right? We have His grace as motive, okay? We have motive, means, and opportunity here, only this is not prosecution. This is how life gets lived. We have grace as our motive, not law. Grace is our motive. We have His means, empowerment, enabled, and energized, okay?

And we have His opportunities, Ephesians 2.10. He has prepared the good works that we should walk in them. Those are the opportunities put before us. So we have His grace as a motive. We have His means. We have His opportunities to be parents and even to be grandparents.

When somebody hands you a perfectly good baton, grab it. God will place people in our lives whom He intends that we learn from and be nourished in our hearts and minds. And we may find them in various ways and in various places. There will almost certainly come a time when it will be your turn to pass that baton along to another or others. God has in mind that you receive that baton and pass it.

We need to be very deliberate about what we're passing along. Because what we pass along, I'm not talking about stuff, I'm not talking about bank accounts, or that really cool car in the garage, or anything like that. What we have to pass along, we've been entrusted spiritually, and our passing along needs to be very deliberate, and we need to make sure that it is being received.

Receptiveness was a characteristic we saw in the Thessalonians. And receptiveness is a characteristic we can pray for in our children. That they would receive the baton that we're carefully passing along. Let's pray. Lord, we thank you for the insight from Paul's second chapter, 1 Thessalonians. We thank you for now three more tools. So a total of six parenting tools primarily directed to the father.

We pray especially for the fathers because we see how pivotal and how critical the father is. We recognize it on this Father's Day. But we see biblically how pivotal and critical the father's role is. And it is not something that fathers are naturally good at carrying out. This kind of living out has to be done by the very life of Christ lived in and through us. And we thank you for that. Thank you for the encouragement that we have, having been enabled and empowered and energized to carry out this tremendous work and tremendous opportunity. We pray in Jesus' name. Amen.