First Corinthians 7:35-40

All right, so we have been studying through chapter seven of 1 Corinthians, and we ended up last week finishing verse 29, where Paul says, but this I say, brethren, the time has been shortened. And those who use the world as though it did not make full use of it, for the form of the world is passing away. And we went through some verses that talked about, What all of those you should, if you are rejoicing, you should act as though you're not rejoicing. In other words, all these things that we do, you don't overdo them because the time is short.

And it's interesting that, what's the time he's talking about? I think the time is from the death of Christ to the rapture. And I think we're a lot closer to the rapture today, obviously every day we're a little closer, but I think it's, maybe say it this way, it's around the corner, I hope.

And I found this great little comment that said, a believer should hold on to things, hold all things but Christ with a loose hand. I know what a loose hand's all about these days. Things keep slipping through it, which is exactly the meaning that we all have possessions, we all have things we do, but we should hold on to the earthly things loosely, but hang on to the Lord Jesus Christ really, really tight.

Because the Savior has changed everything for us as believers. A believer looks to the earth as Christ's place of rejection. and follows him, follows the Lord Jesus in spirit into the heavens now which are open to us. Where he and peace awaits with joy unspeakable and full of glory, this world has really no more permanence than the shifting scenes of a movie. It's really what it's like. I mean, watch TV sometime. It changes, it changes, it changes, it changes really quickly. That's kind of what the world's all about these days.

So today we're gonna talk about verses 32 through 40, which is the last verses of chapter seven. And Paul starts out, I think I'll read the New American Standard and then I'm gonna refer a little bit sometimes to the New Living Bible because it says its things in a way that the New American Standard doesn't.

But he starts out by saying, I want you to be free from concern. Now what that says to us is that I'm writing these things about marriage and that kind of thing out of my heart, not giving you a law, you better adhere to what I'm gonna say, but most of this is just advice, and this is advice that will help you be free from concern.

One who is unmarried is concerned about the things of the Lord, how he may please the Lord. But one who is married is concerned about the things of the world, that he may please his wife. Did I say married the first time? One who's unmarried. And his interests are divided. The woman who is unmarried and the virgin is concerned with the things of the Lord, that she may be holy, both in body and spirit.

But one who is married is concerned about the things of the world, how she may please her husband. This I say for your own benefit. There's that pastoral view again. Not to put a restraint or a collar on you, but to promote what is appropriate and to secure understanding and undistracted devotion to the Lord.

But if any man thinks that he's acting unbecomingly towards his virgin, and we're gonna have some issues about this verse, his virgin daughter, if she is past her youth, and if it must be so, let him do what he wishes, he does not then let her marry. But he who stands firm in his heart, being under no constraint, but has authority over his own will and has decided this in his own heart, to keep his own virgin daughter, he will do well. So then, both he who gives his own virgin daughter in marriage does well, and he who does not give his own virgin daughter in marriage does better. A wife is bound as long as her husband lives, but if her husband is dead, she is free to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord. But in my opinion, she's happier if she remains as she is.

And I think I also have the Spirit of God. So we're going to do all those verses today. So we start with a consideration Those contemplating marriage should consider the added responsibilities that go with marriage. And I've done some marriage counseling, Don and I have, and some of the stuff I've learned through this chapter seven got added to that file, because the stuff I had before, I mean, we still use the oath, but this is really interesting stuff, I think.

So, but I want you to be free of concern. The one who is unmarried is concerned about the things of the Lord that he may please the Lord. But the one who is married is concerned about the things of the world that he may please his wife. You know, that doesn't take a lot of explanation. I think that's pretty clear. And his interests are divided. And the woman who is unmarried and a virgin, and all a virgin means here is a young girl, is concerned about the things of the Lord that she may be holy, both in body and spirit. But the one who is married is concerned about the things of the world that she may please her husband. And this I say for your own benefit. not to put a restraint upon you, but to promote what is seemingly and to secure undistracted devotion to the Lord.

So how does this look? This is just a little chart. And when I put it on the And I checked this too, Roger, when I put it on the slide, it was lined up perfectly. Now it's not lined up perfectly. So see, Mary, that ought to be over there under the. One of the things that's happening is that Microsoft is not gonna support Office 10 anymore. and it took, I mean, what, 10 years now, and I'm finally getting to know how Office 10 works. Well, they're not gonna support it anymore. They're going to this thing called 365, and it's, compared to what 10 was, it's a mess. It doesn't fit, it doesn't, you know, and when you save things, it ends up doing this. So take the word married and put it over under the other, a the, okay? The single belongs to the Lord, the married belongs to the Lord, plus, their spouse, and that, plus their spouse, disappeared somewhere.

And I think it comes from chapter six, verse 19. It says, do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, whose in you, whom you have from God, and that you are not your own? You've been bought with a price, therefore glorify God in your body. A single person has a responsibility to the Lord only.

The married person has a responsibility to the Lord plus his marriage or her marriage partner. So really what Paul is saying is if you're single, you have more simple concerns. If you're married, it's more complex. And that's the way Macaulay laid it out. Simple concerns in life to please the Lord only may be aided by the single life. Now, When I get into this a little more, I'm not sure I agree with everything he talks about in terms of the single life.

He says, since we're born single and not married, single life can be maintained if one chooses by grace alone. A single person has more time to devote solely to the Lord. So he urges here, greater freedom from earthly anxiety for serving and pleasing the Lord, which a single person can do, compared to a married. There's less weight on them in the race and less distractions on the goal. But here's the problem I have with this verse. It assumes that one's priority in life is to please the Lord and not themselves via the Lord.

It assumes that the person he's talking to is single, has a spiritual maturity to understand the remaining single. I must admit, Like I said last week, most of the spiritual people I've met, probably all of them, were married except for one person. It's true, however, that one may be single and not fit the description of verse 32. You may be single, and that's the problem that a lot of people who look at these verses have is they don't understand Paul's not giving you orders He's saying, this is advice.

If you're single, you're unencumbered by being married, and so you are free to serve the Lord, like I talked about that Catholic priest who was a friend last week. And that's true, but let's talk about growth for service. I looked up in a lot of Myles Stanford stuff because he's, in my mind, he's the guy that understands spiritual growth as well as anybody.

Galatians 4.19 tells us, my little children of whom I travail in birth again until Christ be formed in you. If you wanna serve the Lord, Christ must be formed in you to some degree. And then he says in a hungry heart, a ministry of life, whether at the kitchen sink or at the first church pulpit, must flow from the life of the Lord Jesus Christ. That life must be developed in and shared through the growing believer by the Holy Spirit. We are to rest in him for spiritual growth and he will work through us for spiritual service.

I would say that if you're single and you want to serve the Lord, this better be true of you or becoming true of you. Our Lord is more concerned for a testimony than for a work. We need to get clear about that. A good deal of confusion comes when you begin to think of things in light of the work rather than the conformity.

So there was a paper that Myles put out called Service and the Cross. He says, the quiet course of a two-fold work of the Spirit and the cross, that on I, but Christ's life, which is not I, which is death, the Christ's life, which is the Lamb life, is what your home needs, your school needs, your work needs, and the world needs. No kidding. We could use some of that today.

The cross is not only involved in your life, but it's also involved in your ministry and your outreach. Whether you are utterly alone in the world or restricted to raising children or burdened with shepherding a flock, the lamb life will flow and feed. You will know with whom to share, how to share, and when to share, cross and all.

I remember one time I called up Miles early on and I was just beginning to learn how to teach. And of course I was like most guys. At first I thought I was growing pretty fast, and then it dawned on me I wasn't hardly growing at all. And so I said to Miles, I said, Miles, I wanna be moving on in this spiritual life.

He said, it takes the Lord a long time to teach you the truth. And then it takes him twice as long to teach you how and when to give it to somebody else. But then he said, but when you're ready, the woods will be full of them. What he meant, they'll come to you, because you'll be ready, and he'll send them to you. So I thought, well, let's see, I was about 40 then, and I thought, that's gonna take, I don't know if I'll make it. My buddy Bob Strong used to say, it's too late for me.

There's a joy in the suffering of the cross when you are assured of its fruit in your life. and in the lives of others. For we who live are always delivered unto death for Jesus' sake, that the life also of Jesus might be made manifest in our mortal flesh, so that death works in us, but life in you or in others.

I find these elements must go into any service, whether you're married or single. This has got to be part of what you're about. William Newell commented, the body of Christ is ministered to, not first of all by preaching and working, but by inward reality. The Holy Spirit is concerned with what is real and what is true and will never witness to that which is false.

What you communicate by words is what you are already bringing of the lamb life of the flock. For the body is ministered to by the communication of life. and life is communicated to others quite simply and spontaneously as death operates in us. Death of what? Death of the old man. So the question is not how much are you doing, how much are you saying, but how much are you going through under the hand of God?

So there's no higher service than moral influence. the whole body full of light, and this, of all the highest moral order, is within the compass of all. Christ, Christ shall be magnified in my body, whether in life or by death. J.B. Stoney. I press upon you that you cannot be a servant in heavenly power, this is another quote from Stoney, in heavenly power, nor can you be in consonance, which means harmony, with Christ's mind unless you are in conscious union with him.

The effect of union with him is that your individual interests are merged in him. The Christ dwells in your heart by faith and by his power you carry out his pleasure. What a great description that is if one desires to be single and serve the Lord. This is where you're headed. because in serving the Lord, whether you're single or married, has to come from the effect of the union with him. In other words, the intimacy with Christ is so critical in order to be of service to him, because what is your job? Our job, your job, is to point people to him, not to you or not to him through you, to him. And there's an intimacy there that is noticeable by those who understand that the Lord Jesus Christ dwells in your heart by faith. People see that. And the power to carry out his pleasure, it's his pleasure. It should also be noted that Paul does not teach us to neglect the responsibilities of marriage. in order to serve the Lord. Once one marries, the responsibility entailed should be fulfilled joyfully.

I've often thought that, you know, people talk about, we've done several classes over the years on Tuesday, men's group in Corinthians and spiritual gifts. And every time it's the same, we get to the gifts and a couple of guys in the class will say, well, I don't know what my spiritual gifts are.

I don't think I have any. And I say, are you married? Yeah, you have a spiritual gift. You have kids? Yeah, there's another one. It takes these gifts from the Spirit of God to manifest the life of the Lord Jesus to your spouse and to your family. You can't do that just because you went before somebody and they said, okay, now you're married. It's a growing process.

Even here, Paul speaks with caution. He's very careful here. and delicacy, he would not entangle us. He doesn't want us under a leash. He sought the welfare of these believers with a view to dignity and undistracted attendance to the Lord. I'm only attracted with undistracted attendance to anybody if everything else is out of the way. If I'm conflicted, I can't serve the Lord. He has to be the focus. And I can do that whether I'm married or not.

It's interesting, when Christ wins your heart over, all of the environment that you're in, He puts you in that environment. And you serve Him from there. You don't change anything, like Roger talked about. When you come to Christ, don't move. Don't leave where you are. Stay where you are. He puts you there. You may not realize it at the time, but we're there because He put us there.

So verse 35 says, and this I say for your own profit, not to put a restraint upon you, but to promote what is seemly and to secure unattractive devotion. I also put in there the New Living Translation. I'm saying this for your benefit, not to place restrictions on you. I want you to do whatever will help you serve the Lord best. with as few distractions as possible. That makes a lot more sense to me. That's our job, is to serve the Lord with as few distractions as possible.

I don't think Paul wanted his readers to regard his preceding comments as an attempt to build too strong a case for celibacy, because that wasn't what he was doing. And actually, that's a problem in some denominations now because, They're ascetics, it's like the denomination I came out of, Catholicism. Celibacy of the priesthood, people going into nunneries and doing stuff like that, thinking that that's gonna make them holier. No, it's not.

He wanted to help his readers appreciate the realities of the single and the married states both. He wanted them to understand that so that they could express unhindered devotion to the Lord. So we as believers have a freedom under the Lord to choose to be single or married. We get to choose that. Single women have freedom to choose whether they want to even get married, just like single men do. We know people that are single that are serving the Lord.

Nevertheless, the realities in life in Christ that Paul outlined and needed to, He wanted believers to make informed decisions, not based on just emotion. Now this is where it gets interesting. In the NASB, the NIV, and the New English Bible, this is how it comes out, and I'm just gonna quote the NASB, but what's the difference?

If any man thinks that he's acting unbecomingly towards his virgin daughter, If she should be of full age, and if it must be so, let him do what he wishes. He does not sin, let her marry. But he who stands firm in his heart, being under no covenant or no constraint, but has authority over his own will and has decided in his own heart to keep his own virgin daughter, he will do well. So then, Let both he who gives his own virgin daughter in marriage does well, and he who does not give her in marriage does better.

Well, okay, I'm starting this week to work on this verse. And I go in, you know, I've got this program where it's got a bunch of different Bibles in it, and I read, I looked at the interlinear area, and I couldn't find daughter in there anywhere. So then I thought, hmm. And then I read the New Living Translation and it said, if anyone think that he behaves unseemly to his virginity, if he be beyond the flower of his age, so it must be, let him do what he will.

He does not sin, let them marry. But he who stands firm in his heart, having no need, but has authority over his own will, and has judged this in his heart to keep his own virginity, he does well, so that he that marries himself does well, and he that does not marry does better. Well, what's he really talking about? As Chester Macaulay said that in ancient times, the father arranged the marriage for his daughter. And that's what he thinks is in view here. So he would line up with the NASB group. And he gave some principles.

He said, first, he must be convinced that her continued single life is inappropriate for him to insist upon. and unbecoming actions spoken of in verse 36. Second, he must determine if she's old enough. And third, she must want to be married. And two conditions under that was he must be free from any pressure on her part to marry. And second, he must assume the responsibility to keep her if she doesn't marry.

Okay, but then I look at the constable. Here's what constable says. He says, however, it contains a problem related to the word virgin, as is clear from the three different interpretations in the NASB, the NIV, and the NEB. I tend to think that these verses do not introduce a special case, in parentheses, advice to the fathers of their virgin daughters, but connects to verse 35.

And probably the man in view is the fiance of the virgin, who is considering the possibility of marriage to her. So it switches off of the father having responsibility for his virgin daughter to him, the man who wants to get married. Paul urged any man not to feel that he must remain single or that he or his virgin girlfriend must forego sexual fulfillment after marriage. So is he talking about a man who has responsibility for his daughter, or is he talking about the man who wants to marry the daughter? He said, I think it's the man who wants to marry the daughter. Even in the Darby translation, he uses the word virginity.

So. There's no question here of the man's daughter, but his own state. The Lord deserves to have us wholly devoted to himself. This is true Christian reckoning. So I quoted Macaulay, Constable William Kelly, and H.A. Ironside. So what I find is, is that Macaulay was the one that thought that the father's arranging the marriage for his daughter is what is in view of these verses, but Constable doesn't think that. And Kelly, if you can understand 150-year-old English, if it means one preserving unmarried himself, it's easy to see the force of it all. As to the daughter or award, it seems out of the way.

And then Ironside said, whether you keep your virginity or whether you do not, you're doing well, if unto the Lord. So I have to think that in looking at this, at what this verse really says. deals with is a man who's engaged to a young girl and his desire to marry her or his desire to serve the Lord. And he gives us in these verses, the criteria, He finds out, first of all, he finds out that he can go ahead and be married, but if, verse 37, but he has decided firmly not to marry, he decides, he made that decision, and there's no urgency, and he can control his passions, he does well by not marrying, under the heading of serving the Lord.

So the person who marries his fiancee does well, And the person who doesn't marry does even better. Why does he do better? Because he gets another gold star? No, because he's free of encumbering to serve the Lord without having to take care of the wants and needs of his wife. Nothing wrong with being married. There's nothing wrong with either state.

But the point is, I don't think, in looking at these verses, you wanna think that I'm gonna be a lot holier if I'm single, because that's not true. And this is gonna be interesting too, because I didn't agree with everything I read about this. A wife is bound as long as her husband lives, but if her husband is dead, she's free to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord. But in my opinion, she's happier if she remains as she is, and I think that I also have the spirit of God. So these two verses are interesting, because the one thing they do is they conclude the major section on the discussion by repeating the woman should not separate from her husband, if they're both believers. So it's a reminder, it's especially important to young married girls, considering the possibility of getting married. One of the cool things about premarital counseling is the fact that when you lay out the biblical principles of marriage, you begin to realize that the focus goes off of the couple's commitment to each other, and it gets squarely on the Lord where it belongs. Because God is the one that's gonna put them together and keep them together.

It isn't gonna be their commitment. It isn't gonna make it work. And that's what the world tells you. Commitment is everything. Oh, really? How far did you get with that with the last temptation you had? I was committed. Guess what? The commitment didn't last.

So Paul refers to marriage as a binding relationship, which he did in verse 15 and 27. The wife is bound to her husband as long as he lives. So you have to ask yourself the question, Does this mean that even if he leaves her, the marriage tie is unbroken? So let's say, most interpreters have concluded that yeah, the marriage tie is unbroken. So Matthew, some of the verses that you look up will say, well, if this is the case, remarriage after a divorce or separation would constitute adultery. Well, I'll give you insight into how my mind works.

Okay, adultery. Does that mean I commit one sin of adultery when I marry her? And I can ask forgiveness and I'm done. Or do I commit a sin of adultery and then every time we have relations I'm committing another sin of adultery? Must be, maybe God didn't get all those sins on the cross. Not true, he got them all.

So, but then the Lord Jesus comes along in Mark 19, nine, and he said, and I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery. Well, there's a reason to get divorced. What if your spouse just walks out the door and they never come back? The point I'm trying to get at here is this.

We all belong to Christ, and the Lord Jesus Christ is the one who satisfies our heart, not your spouse. They can satisfy you through the Lord Jesus functioning and the Spirit functioning through them, but it's like Miles said one time, in The Hungry Heart, he said, a wife must realize that her husband is married to somebody else. Guess who? We're all married to the Lord Jesus.

Everybody in this room, he's the focus of our life. Now he may condescend to say, oh, well you and Donna get to live together for 45 years. I'm gonna let you do it, it'd be really cool. Oh yeah, thank you very much. But it doesn't work unless both of you are focused on him. It just doesn't work.

Because this oneness that is talked about in marriage is really an example of our oneness in Christ. The oneness of our crucifixion with him, our burial with him, our resurrected, our seating with him. Someday there's gonna be a marriage feast of the Lamb and we're all gonna be the bride. I can't wait, I can't imagine what that's gonna be like. And what's life gonna be like after that? It's gonna be incredible. And guess what? My wife gets to be there. She gets to get married that day too, just like I do.

The point being that it's okay to avoid being married again. And I was talking, some of you know who Kathy Sherman is, and her husband, Charm, was a friend. And like five or six years ago, the Lord took Charm home, and he had a ministry to NBA basketball players. And when he died, Kathy took it over. and she moved to Iowa City, and she called me last week and we were chatting about, she's a little nervous about some Young Life people in Iowa City had left Young Life to leaders because they were of a mind that you should accept homosexuals in as leaders in Christian organizations.

She said, what do you think about that? I said, It doesn't matter what I think, the Bible is really clear about homosexual behavior. She said, yeah, that's what I think. So we were talking along and I was sharing with her about this. She said, you know something? She said, I'm gonna tell you something.

She said, since Sharma's gone home and I've been involved in this ministry, there's no man on this earth that I could have the time to be married to. This is my life. Well, I understand what she's saying. Her life is serving the Lord, and a husband at her age and in her circumstances would just get in the way.

Let's say, I'll give you another example. Even though Paul says it's his opinion that she'd be happier, a widow be happier, say her husband died, and I think it'd be better for her to stay single, What I find interesting is that let's say that here's a widow sitting over here and her husband died and he didn't leave her with anything and she's destitute. She's gonna be living in a tent under a bridge someplace and she meets a man who says, well, I'm gonna marry you and I'll take care of you. Would that be a good reason for her to get married? I think it'd be great.

I think elderly people especially get married so they have a companion, because they don't want to be alone. Well, that says, well, maybe the Lord isn't as big in their life as he should be, but the point being is that hanging around with other believers is a really cool thing to do. And marriage in your 80s, I mean, why would you marry somebody in your 80s or your 70s? It isn't because it's sexually exciting, It's because you want companionship. You want to be able to talk to somebody. You want to share the Lord. You want to share the word with them. You want to share your life with them.

So when Paul says she should get married but only in the Lord, only in the Lord means a lot more than whether this other person is a believer. Only in the Lord constitutes the entire Christian life. So, There's a possibility that you could marry somebody who's a believer who isn't in the Lord in their understanding.

Do you understand that? I think he's saying, look, if you are gonna get remarried, that person that you marry needs to be at least in the neighborhood of where you are spiritually. They must understand what you understand so that you can grow together. You don't want somebody who barely understands salvation and here you are studying identification and position and condition and those kinds of things. That's in the Lord. And I think that's what he means. I think that's what he means. So, I want you to notice a couple of last things here.

Paul talks about the happiness of this widow, not whether she's obedient or not. He's concerned about her happiness. So the other thing it shows us is that Paul is not a hard-nosed bigot and advocate of celibacy. That's not what he's showing in these verses, although some have accused him of being that. He was extremely careful in these verses to distinguish his personal preference in amoral aspects of this subject from the Lord's will.

I think every one of us who are married can say this. The Lord gave me my husband or my wife. The Lord will give me the grace to get along with her or him. When we know our marriage is of the Lord, he will enable us to get through whatever it is to honor him and to glorify him.

Let's pray. Father, how thankful we are for the grace that you bestow on us, whether we're single or married, whatever state in life, we recognize it is from you and only from you, and that we rest in that provision as we grow steadily in the knowledge and the grace and the intimacy of the Lord Jesus. And we pray in his precious name. Amen.