Ephesians, 5:22-24

We're kind of in this section now. Remember if we divide Ephesians kind of into two sections. The first three chapters is steep in doctrine and it really deals with the believer and his or her relationship to the Lord Jesus Christ and positions us in places heavenly.

And then there's the second part of Ephesians chapters 4 through 6 which is really kind of the duties of the believer, as some might interpret it. Alternatively, I like the kind of phrases, this is what the Christ's life looks like. And I think, you know, how you set Ephesians 4-6 into practice really reflects on your theological view, your doctrine, and what precedes it in Ephesians 1-3.

I think Paul has not placed this in Christ and positioned us above to ultimately reflect on the four through sixes in demand of what the Christian life needs to look like from our work ethic. It's really a position of who we are in Christ really translated into a day-to-day experience. So I think if we begin with that premise that ultimately four through six is what the Christian life looks like and even though these are imperatives The imperatives, yes, in a way are a choice. But when I think of a choice, I'm kind of thinking about what my sin nature has as an opportunity to choose right or choose wrong, and that's kind of a legal system. By faith, when the Christ life ultimately is lived out, that choice becomes a life. and really by faith we respond in the right way without even considering the alternative.

So let's try to maintain the flavor of these lessons in Ephesians 4-6 in that domain. And so today, I'm not even going to lead into the verses today, because today we have really some exciting verses that relate to marriage and the lessons to follow will also be more about marriage and more directed toward the husbands than the wives. So this is a tough text and I think in some ways it's very simplistic and then in other ways really somewhat complicated. We're going to try to work through this today together as we look at the verses.

So Brad, why don't you read for us 22 through 24 in Ephesians chapter 5. Wives, be subject to your own husbands, saith the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, he himself being the saviour of the body. But as the church is subject to Christ, so also wives ought to be to their own husbands in everything.

So let's proceed. As usual, we interrupt whenever. This is a fun day for discussion. We only have three verses, but they're stacked. So let's see how we proceed. So, you know, the interesting thing in the interlinear Greek, it says the wives to their own husbands as to the Lord. There's no submit. And that's really true of a lot of the versions. And before we kind of look at those versions that lead this out, I think appropriately left out, the original Greek doesn't have the verb submit here.

But wise, first of all, is gaiae, or a woman, and this could be a wife or a woman in general. I mean, half the time in Scripture it's used as one, and the other time it's used as the other. and husbands is a year or a man, which could mean a fellow, a husband, a man, or a sir. I mean, so these terms can be used broadly, but I think in context, we have to really envision that the, whoops, that's not what we wanted to do here, is it? Really? What'd I do, right? I hit this button, where's, the pointer is on, I hit the pointer, what I thought was the pointer. That's the point. Did you push the button that filters have a good teaching?

Yeah, it's a blank term, but it's the middle part. My bad. These terms are generically used to describe man and woman, but in context it must be husband and wife. I mean there's just no other interpretation that's appropriate here. Let me make sure I get the right message going forward. So again, submit or subject to is in many translations, but if in fact you look at the Interlinear Greek, you look at the New American Standard Bible, the ASV, submit or subject oneself to is not in those versions. And so what we're looking at here actually is really a relationship between the wife and the husband that is implied but not directly stated.

And let's turn to Colossians 3.18 because that's a very parallel text. Let's take a look at that there because I think the intent is identical. And whoever gets that, please read it. Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands as it is fit from the Lord.

And their submitter, subject to, is in the Interlinear Greek and in the original Greek text. So, the concept is the same and the implications are the same. It's just that the verb is lacking in Ephesians, but there are collages. So the tense here is a present middle imperative. Yes, this you must do. But the question I ask the class today and you women in the room who are wives, who's doing it?

So I think we kind of have to relate this to all the other imperatives we've been dealing with and I kind of alluded to that up front with a lesson today, and that these imperatives are to actually respond to them by faith and really realizing that by faith that life is increasingly created in us.

And yes, again, it's a choice in a way, but it's a choice to live by faith is what it is. And then ultimately if we look to him by faith that these kinds of ways of dealing with earthly circumstances that are not always perfect really have a way of being seated above. And again, so often I like to remind myself and remind the class that it's not what you do, it's who you are. And when you know who you are, that ultimately what you do is evidence of who you are. I mean, it's really a life.

And so wives submitting to your husband seems unrealistic in many circumstances that you have to deal with. But put on faith is the vehicle by which this imperative is lived out in your life. Keep that in mind as we proceed and realize that this submission, as the verse says, is as to the Lord. So, you know, your husband is unrealistic or demanding and inappropriately self-serving. So your response is, well, The Lord gives you imperatives too. You may not like them. But anyway, the point is that God has put this in the text because it relates to the kind of relationship he wants a woman to have to her husband.

So let's put some fraction on this here a little bit. If you really look at the term to submit, it does mean kind of what it says. It means to one's controls, to someone else's control, or to yield to one's admonition and advice. And J. Vernon McGee really, I think, soft pedals this a bit. Because if you go to the Greek, you really look at a verb that's much stronger in terms of its implications. And I kind of like Jay Vernon's view of this, but yet it's just one of many, many people's idea of what this verb really means in terms of how we use it in our day-to-day lives.

He says it's response more than submit or be subject to. Some ways he may have a point here. And he qualifies that to a sweet and willing man that loves her. Anyway, I'm not sure that's what the text says, but that's what J. Herringfield wrote. Okay, so what controls these kind of responses? If we call this a response, whether it's a submitted response or being subjected to, what controls these kind of responses?

Is it gritting your teeth in submission to your husband? Is it trying harder to please him? or is it conditional? That means if your husband lives up to his end of the bargain here. I mean, he's got an imperative before him too. So, what are your thoughts? Is it some sort of conditional response? If he loves you like Christ loves his church, then you're going to subject yourself under his quote rule or authority or admonition? I think it has mostly to do with the next part.

As unto the Lord, that's how you do it. That's how you do the job you go to that you don't like all of. You give it to the Lord so that your work is to glorify Him and not just please yourself. Or your husband. Or whoever. It's as unto the Lord. It's a different kind of effort. Tom? I get the feeling that it's a growing into in all of these goals. It's not going to all happen at once. And it's only going to happen in stages because it's a process. Welcome to the walk.

You know, as Paul concluded his ministry, he said the greatest among sinners is yours truly, right? I mean, because as you grow in grace and the light becomes brighter, the darkness seems to be revealed more for what it really is. You know, when we all leave these earthly bodies, we're going to be sensing our inadequacy in the flesh before God, but yet that's why Ephesians 1-3 precedes 4-6. We've been already told that we're crucified, dead, buried, and risen, positioned above, and we are blessed with all spiritual blessings in heavenly places. That's really an uplifting kind of life that we have before us.

And you wives submitting to your husbands, it's not easy many times because we fail you repeatedly. But yet, as to the Lord, reflects our positional truth. By gritting our teeth, working harder at it, to try to please God, it's not something that we're ultimately accounted for, right? Margaret and I were talking on the way down here to church this morning about this whole issue to combat somebody in particular, but the whole idea of improving kind of the fleshly response and attempt to please God is really not what it's all about. I mean there's such freedom and joy we have in the Christian experience when we in fact see our position of truth played out.

We're going to get into this whole conditional aspects of women submitting themselves to their husband. I'm not going to kind of drill down and deal with specifics, but we're going to deal with the generalities. The husband may ultimately be putting you in a position where submission goes beyond the call. Notice in verse 24, and I'll jump ahead just for a second to set the stage for this, it says, in everything, in everything.

But God doesn't know my circumstances, huh? Yeah, I think he does. So, let's think about this going forward. In Genesis, the stage was set very early in the Bible, wasn't it? To the woman he said, I'll greatly multiply your sorrow and your conception. In pain you shall bring forth children, and your desire shall be for your husband. He shall rule over you. Wow. Sounds kind of unrealistic, doesn't it? Well, I didn't put that there. the Lord himself that wrote that. Yeah, it sounds like he only got the weeds. He only got what? The weeds. We'll come back to that later. And you know there are other kind of texts that play into this same kind of theme.

What's your women keep silent in the churches for they're not permitted to speak or to be submissive as to the law? and to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands that the Word of God may not be blasphemed. Notice what happens if they're not. The Word of God is blasphemed. Why? Ultimately because they're not responding to the scriptural mandate. Let's turn to 1 Peter 3, 1-6. Most of your husbands have probably turned you wives to this section many times, right? I wish I didn't have to teach today. This could have been Brad or Jeremy. Who assigned these lessons anyway? Mistaken assigner.

All right, so I'm in the New King James Version. In the same manner, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands, that, if any obey not the word, they also may be without the word, be won by the behavior of the wives. So in other words, the concept here is you have an unsaved husband, ultimately your behavior is going to reflect on that. And by the way, my salvation, to a large extent, came through that process. I mean, my first wife and I were married for seven years and not saved, and our relationship was rocky. Then she came to the Lord, and I witnessed a change in her life for about a year, and ultimately came to the Lord. And it was her behavior that ultimately opened the door to the Gospel to me.

I think in this church we're not often in this situation, but yet the scripture really does indicate that the way a woman carries herself in a marital relationship that is not bonded by Christ, ultimately a husband can be influenced by that behavior. while they, meaning the unsafe husband, behold your chaste conduct coupled with fear." And by the way, ladies, you wives, I think your behavior in the marriage relationship ultimately can be a message to your husband in terms of how he should be carrying out his responsibilities of being as Christ is to the church.

That's soft and sweet and quiet spirit. Let it not be the outward adorning of braiding of the hair, the wearing of gold, or the putting on of apparel, but let it be the hidden man of the heart, which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God a great price. For after this manner in the old time, the holy women also who trusted in God adorned themselves, being in subjection under their own husbands, even as Sarah bade Abraham, calling him Lord, whose daughters ye are, and as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any terror." So, I think this text is kind of a soft pillow to a tired head for a few women. It's kind of a rest in the Lord, isn't it? It's not conditional.

It says this is a light that you're called to, and it gives you some potential outcomes of that kind of life. I think it's both for the unsaved woman who's married to a I mean a saved woman who is married to an unsaved husband or alternatively even though in the marriage of a saved man to a saved woman that this can ultimately have great influence on the growth of your husband. Alright, so how you wise doing here? Is this something coming about easily in your lives or is this in fact something you're struggling with?

Notice verse 4 in the first Peter text, the hidden man of the heart, I mean so We're not talking about revving up the old nature here in terms of living up to this responsibility. It's the hidden man of the heart that I think ultimately is the last atom or the new creation that you women are as we are, men who are brought to a saving relationship to the Lord Jesus Christ.

And that's in whom true submission is sourced, isn't it? As unto the Lord. I mean, God doesn't call us to salvation to make us work to deserve our salvation, right? I mean, we're saved by faith, and the Christian life is lived by faith. And this subjection to your husband is an act of faith on behalf of the woman. This is the new creation in Christ Jesus that ultimately gives you an opportunity to respond in a way that is God-mandated. And that makes it easy. I'm not saying that from an earthly perspective it's always easy, but it does make it easy in terms of where you women find yourselves biblically.

Any thoughts or comments before we go to 23? Yeah, Roy. I don't know. Just all of this talk about a woman submitting to her husband and my wife submitting to me. There's a parallel in my thinking through this. And that when we read God's Word, quite often it's like honey when we're reading it. And in our stomachs, the illustration of the Old Testament, repeatedly given, it becomes sour. And I don't know if this is something that we can put our minds around, but when a wife submits to her husband, there's the good and there's the bad in that.

And the outflow of it is, in Revelation, John was told to eat the scroll. And it will be sweet in your mouth and bitter in your stomach. And it was when he did so. And he couldn't even write down the words that he was given to hear. And yet, they were both sweet and bitter.

And I think that's the way to God's Word, there's a richness to it, there's a blessing to it, there's also a conviction, there's also a under-the-submission in our stomachs, so to speak, returning, and all of it is good, it's all God. We take the good with advantage. We call it that. It's all good from God's perspective. Further thoughts? Sorry, I'll do something. No, that's good. I mean, keep in mind, a wonderful marriage before the Lord is a teamwork kind of thing. I mean, we both have responsibilities, the husband and the wife.

But it's interesting that the verses don't talk about qualified circumstances. Now, I want to leave this for the next verse, not verse 23, but verse 24, because in everything really gets a bit extreme at times. So we can talk about some specifics there. A woman who's being beaten by her husband, or has an immoral husband, or has to do things that are not consistent with God's Word. I think we've got to necessarily put this into perspective going forward, but nevertheless, I think we're looking at a dual responsibility of both the husband and the wife to what God calls us to. So let's go ahead. Verse 23 opens up the door on the other side of the fence.

I was just curious, it's kind of always been a cool observation, I can't remember where I heard it, I heard someone make the observation himself, that he uses the word submit for the relationship between between children and parents. Yeah, different Greek term. Yeah, completely different. I just, I wonder if the difference between submission and obedience is at play at all in our discussion of this. It can. You want to take it forward further?

I mean, obedience really reflects, I think, kind of, I'm going to go kind of tangential here, and I could correct this if I'd studied this in more detail before that question came up today, but obedience is kind of The obedience for the adult believer is to the faith. The obedience of a child is to a legal system to be under his or her parents in a way that their behavior must reflect a legal system. And I think when that changes as a parent, we're not here to talk about parenting today, but the parenting of a child who's under a legal kind of doctrine needs to change at some point in their lives. And when does that occur? And I think it could be at 12 for some kids and maybe not till 50. I mean the point is that the obedience is to a kind of a doctrinal, a legal kind of system.

And the obedience for the adult believer is the obedience to the faith. And so submission is really putting oneself underneath the admonition or advice or authority of another. And that's not superior and inferior, it's just a different kind of relationship. Whereas obedience is to some extent superior to inferior. And that's my best interpretation of that. And getting back to that scriptural thing again, when we hear under the scripture, do we not hear under by faith? Yes. That's submitting to the scripture. That's really the source of that truth isn't it?

All right, so verse 23, guys, for the husband's the head of the wife, is also Christ's head of the church, and he is the Savior of the body, meaning the Lord Jesus Christ is the Savior, not the husband. So here's kind of the explanation. I mean, head means anything that's above, chief, supreme, or prominent. Remember, I just said it's not superior. But in a sense, the husband is head of the wife as Christ is through his church. So in a sense, this is kind of viewed as a more supreme position or superlative. And body is the same Greek term soma. In context, the body here is the body of the church, the body of the believer.

And the Geneva source of information says, and I'm quoting that, because the good estate of the wife depends on the man, So that this submission is not only just, but also very profitable, as also the salvation of the church depends on Christ, although to a far greater degree. And I was just going to say, let's discuss although to a far greater degree.

So look at your handout. So it says, because the good estate of the wife depends on the man, In other words, Christ and his relationship to the church is like the husband to the wife. So this submission is not only just, but also very profitable. So the man who serves his wife in being head of her as Christ was to his church is profitable to both, profitable to the wife.

And the analogy is to Christ and his church. And the Geneva commentary says, although to a greater degree. So why might this be to a greater degree? If the analogy is a man to his wife is like Christ is to his church, why might this be to a greater degree in terms of Christ and the body?

What is the objective of God? Is it not to receive glory? what he does. And is that not what a wife does to her husband? It glorifies him in that response. Is that what you're looking for? Well, no, I mean, again, we're going a bit astray here, but the commentation says that the Christ's sacrifice for his church is greater than the man's being head of his wife in terms of a relationship. Because without Christ making that sacrifice and now being head of the church, the salvation, none of the other things could happen.

It wouldn't exist. Okay. Because there wouldn't be... There's no way that a woman can be in submission, the way the word says, to her husband, unless she's been saved. Because there's no way. It's sort of like love. You can't love unconditionally unless you're saved. Because we don't have the capability, the flesh doesn't have that capability of that kind of love. Nor that kind of submission.

Well Christ is actually worthy of being submitted to. We as husbands are not. I mean, it's purely a matter of the Christ's life and our wives that would make them submit, not our character that would make them submit, that would have them under attachment. But then why would God demand of a husband to treat his wife as Christ treats his church or as related to his church? Because we're the illustration of his relationship to the church, to the world. Okay. But what's different between Christ and the church and the man and his wife? Christ and the church is absolute. Christ is God. There's only one way to God, through Christ, by faith. And we're not on that level.

If you think about Christ and the Church, is this the age of Laodicea? How's the Church doing here, in terms of Does he love us? Is Christ's relationship to the church dependent in any way on what the church's response is to him? And what's different about a man and his wife in terms of that relationship of a man to his wife versus Christ and the church?

Yeah, it's to some extent conditional. Very importantly, the blood of Calvary is not man's responsibility. In a sense, we need to buy into that relationship by faith. It's kind of interesting if you think about the church being so conditional at times in terms of its behavior. If this is the age of Laodicea, which many people think it is, that's Christ spewing us out of his mouth because of the way the church has responded to his great grace. I mean, a man who has a relationship to his wife or his wife is not responsive and maybe has gone astray in many areas is really a relationship that has so much humanness connected to it. So in a sense, I think the commentator is correct.

I mean, Christ's view of the church is not dependent on the church's response ultimately for that relationship to be maintained, right? And we as husbands, I think, have to look at our wives in the same manner. If her behavior is not conducive to what we think it should be, ultimately, you know, our position is to say, well, my love for her isn't dependent on her response. So her being submissive to me, biblically, is not what I can really, you know, count on.

Yeah, Jeremy. Well, I think along with that, the church is the initiator in that relationship. And that, like you're saying, as husbands, we have to realize that we are the initiator. By loving our wife, we are going to, we can't expect to have the right response from our wives unless we are, in Christ, by grace, loving her as Christ loved the Church. And that's kind of what you're saying. We kind of have to love unconditionally. It's all God. It's all grace. But from a human standpoint, if we're trying to love as Christ loved, how do I do that?

And then we put on our work boots and say, we can truly expect to have a spiritual response by our wife. What I'm claiming is that there should be no expectations on the part of the husband in terms of his love for his wife. And by grace we have, quote, some of those really unneeded and unrealistic expectations played out by our wives. We don't deserve her submission or her, quote, obedience or her being subject to or her responsiveness to us, but when she is consistent with the scriptures, boy, praise the Lord. But our love for her is unequivocal. I think that goes both ways.

None of these are conditional statements. Her submission or her life as she abides in Christ and rests and exudes His life and His power within her is going to do this. And Brad, when a marriage is steeped in right doctrine, right theology, in terms of this unequivocal relationship that God has with his church, which is all grace-based, right? God hasn't asked anything.

He's got all these imperatives. But what he's saying is that, look, I have crucified you and buried you in baptism unto death and risen with you in new creations in Christ Jesus. This is what that life should look like. The imperative is believe the truth in whom you're seated. And by faith, let that be let down. This isn't gritting your teeth and working harder at it. This is who we are in Christ, both wives and husbands. And learning how to do this is experiential, but it's by faith that we do this. This isn't trying harder at it.

Jeremy? I forget exactly how Macaulay defines love. It's something like wanting the eternal best for another person regardless of what that means for you. Sounds good to me. And I think along these lines, well Christ obviously, I don't know if he has expectations as we think of expectations of us.

He loves us unconditionally, that's true. And that's how we love our wives. But in that love we want what's eternally best. We want our wives to be walking by faith, walking in the Spirit, and living by grace. And so, we have to understand, and it seems that that's what Paul's saying here, in order to give our wives what's best and provide for her, we have to have that unconditional love. And I don't think expectation is the right word. We're not expecting to get that love back.

But we want to, you know, what Ursus is, that he might sanctify her having closer by the washing of the Word. We want our wives to be pure and holy in, or, that's not the right word, we want our wives to be living in the Spirit, and so we know that the only way that's going to happen is by loving her unconditionally, by grace, in Christ, by faith, with that Christ love. Does that make sense? Right, and when, you know, the husband loves his wife in that manner, that submissive act on her behalf becomes easier for her.

But she's not given that qualification. Exactly. But the teamwork reflects it. Both the husband and wife are playing into this. There's a lot of joy in a Christian marriage. I mean, it makes marriage what God intended it to be. Roy? Interestingly earned, to put it this way, is that the husband loves his wife because the wife is made in such a way that she wants to know that she is loved. And respect for her husband, the man is made in such a way by God that that fulfills him if she respects him and respect carries that submission aspect. That's what we've learned. He says there's like a fitting together that the wife wants love and the husband, when he loves her, gets respect back. It's clearly a principle that you build upon by a marriage that's lived by faith.

So the greatest thing is not that she loves us, but that she respects us. Right. In fact, at the end of today's lesson, if we get there, we're going to deal with why hasn't God asked the wife to love the husband? And we'll keep that in mind as we spend the next 10 or 15 minutes getting there.

So in Ephesians 1, 22 and 23, it says, and he put all things under his feet and gave him the behead, meaning Christ, over all things of the church, which is his body and the fullness of him who fills all in all. So here's kind of the Christ and the church relationship stated earlier in Ephesians.

And how you doing here, guys? Again, are you filling her with all in all? And I would contend if you put up a kind of a earthly, mental, kind of intellectual, you know, bus to put this message on, you're going to be kind of driving it into nowhere. I mean, this is just all in all. How you doing, Rod? I mean, Doug's doing well at this. I mean, we've got the circumstances Dolores put you in with Francis. I mean, you're maybe you know, responsive to this calling.

But I mean, the point is we're going to fail this in the flesh. All in all, boy, you got to lay back on positional truth here and respond to it by faith. This isn't just something you're working at. Alright, now let's get to the tough verse. The verse that I think is going to be for you women particularly challenging and for me to teach is challenging too because I'm not sure I have the perfect perspective on this. Not that I do on anything else.

Okay, therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wise be to their own husbands. Own is kind of not in the original text, but presumably one husband, although Byrne has recently talked about all these African believers that have multiple lives, right?

And so what do you do with that circumstance? Anyway, and notice it says in everything. It doesn't say when things seem appropriate. when my husband treats me right. But, again, we'll get into this in more detail. So, as we do so often, what's therefore therefore? What goes before? Yeah, what goes before? What went before?

Not a tough question, is it? Just a couple of verses that precede this. What's this relationship look like, this kind of Christ and his church? So this church is subject to Christ. The church's relationship to Christ is a close one. There's no bondage. It's free. It's transparent. Women, these are the kinds of things the church has in its relationship to the Lord Jesus Christ. Think about your husband now in terms of your relationship with him. It should be close. There's no bondage about it. It's a free relationship. It's transparent. It's tender. It's uplifting. I just grabbed some of these terms.

It's founded in truth and it's clearly spirit-led, at least I would hope that it's spirit-led. So these are some of the things we think about and there are probably many more in terms of how the church relates to Christ. And that really is kind of where you should be, women, with your husbands. I mean, this relationship is a very tender one. It's a very free and uplifting one. It should be transparent. It's clearly spirit-led. And it's founded in truth.

All these things make it in some ways a little easier to be submissive in terms of what God's calling you to. Now, the next and final part of our lesson today is going to deal with this concept. Does the Lord really mean everything? That's what the Greek term pos indicates, everything. And when in precedes pos, it apparently indicates everything.

It just doesn't mean some sort of qualified set of circumstances. All right, so I'm going to give you a bit of a different view. And we're going to kind of discuss this a little bit. And this view comes from Spurgeon. a sermon entitled, Particular Redemption. It goes something like this. The whole world is gone after him. And Spurgeon says, did all the world go after Christ? Then went all Judea and were baptized of him in Jordan. Was all Judea or all Jerusalem baptized in Jordan? And year of God, little children, and in the whole world lieth in the wicked one. Does the whole world there mean everybody?

If so, how was it then that there were some who were of God? And the words world and all are used in some seven or eight senses in scripture, and it is very rarely that all means all persons taken individually. The words are generally used to signify that Christ has redeemed some of all sorts, some Jews, some Gentiles, some rich, some poor, and has not restricted his redemption to either Jew or Gentile. So the reason I lifted this out of a message of Spurgeon, by the way Spurgeon is you know walked in an earthly body and you know his theology may or may not be exactly what yours is or ours is but he claims that this all even though in the in the scripture all would mean all and all is not practically all and so he's using this in terms of the everything for a wife to submit to her husband maybe as a bit of a qualified everything.

It doesn't mean everything. I think practically speaking, there could be some truth here in terms of maybe overly interpreting the scripture in terms of the Greek language as to what everything means. Although pas, again, when preceded by an in, I guess does typically mean everything. So let's take this forward here.

Does this everything really pertain to the husband's legitimate authority? In other words, if the husband ultimately is not living as Christ lives for his church, then ultimately maybe this is the qualified out to certain behaviors. Or what about in the Lord only? So in other words, anything outside of the word does not really mean that the woman has to be submissive.

Tom? You can really go completely overboard on this and then the husband becomes an object of supreme adoration? No, that's not what it means by everything. So your point? That it is not a totality of all aspects of all attitudes taken to the nth degree, totally equal to worshiping the Lord, you should worship your husband.

It still brings me to the difference between submission and obedience. I mean, my wife can, I like under-attach from Hupotasso to support. And it is coming under, it is a submissive support that at the end of the day, if we But I think there's also a level at which under attaching in distinction with obedience is oftentimes if I'm suggesting that April and I do something ungodly, I want to go steal a lot of money. Her result, what she's, her true submission to me, even though it would be the less comfortable thing, is not straight obedience. She's going to help me steal the money, but might be her challenging me in that, as much so. So, in that, she is under-attaching to me, even though she's not obeying.

And I think that to me is the difference. But what she's doing is constantly lifting me up. Constantly spurring me towards Christ. Constantly doing the right thing. So to me everything becomes a really easy term in that because it's not just a reading. It's a word submission.

I think what Brad has so wonderfully done and articulated so carefully is the fact that we interpret scripture in its entirety, right? verse Bible guy or gal, you can find a verse to take any position you want to take at all times, right? But the totality of Scripture would be consistent with what Brad has just said. If a husband, in fact, is not, in fact, living his relationship to his wife as Christ to his church and asks his wife to do something that is immoral, I mean, we gotta stop there. That everything falls apart at that particular point in time. And I think that's simply the practical interpretation that the whole Bible is for our benefit. Not pulling a single verse out and really dying for that verse, really, I would say, not necessarily out of context, but at least not interpreting in terms of the whole Word of God. Jeremy?

Well, even in that verse, the analogy there is, therefore, as the Church submits to Christ, why submit to your husband? And so, if you look at the standard here, it's a relationship comprised of the Church, and that's the basis of everything. And to understand marriage, you have to understand what God has said about Christ and the Church. And obviously Christ is never going to expect the Church to do something contrary to who they are in Him. And so that goes along with what you're saying. going to be the husband and I guess it's a qualifier that the husband is in Christ and the wife is in Christ too.

No, but I think we have to be careful just a little bit because if the husband in fact, I mean we all have that old nature that shows up all the time and I think the wife being in submission to him doesn't take her down the path of immorality. I mean, so, but she has to give him room to grow in grace too. I mean, so being submissive at times is allowing him to make mistakes and just being there and supportive and encouraging him, bringing back the Word of God.

Remember, her response is depending as unto the Lord. Remember verse 22, as unto the Lord. And Brad, that's a perfect kind of pair of clothing for her to put on when in fact he is an error. As unto the Lord to correct him and lift him up. and say, Brad, you know, April says to you, Brad, I think you're off boat here, and here's why, and not be condemning to you, but be submissive and actually encouraging you to get back to the word in terms of how it applies to your life.

Yes? I'm thinking especially of when Abraham appealed to the Lord for not having to zonk Sodom and Gomorrah totally because of a certain number of people that had just kind of And so there, it was saying, I know your character, Lord, and part of your character is mercy, is one of those aspects. And he appealed to that aspect of it whilst being submissive to whatever his final decision would be. And I guess that's one way of appealing to the, looking towards the wife seeing a husband maybe showing too much of one part of the character of God without missing out on some other part of the character of God and saying, whoa, whoa, whoa, wait a minute, let's look again, let's look at Ezekiel.

Okay, good comment. Other thoughts here? Well, our two natures are involved. Yeah, absolutely. You know, a wife can sometimes see the old nature in a man real clearly because she's right next to him. Right. Vice versa. So the respectfulness should be to the new man. Well, you know, underneath this bullet I have, who's responding in the wife, the nature of the new man in Christ. I mean, again, I think again, as a wife, being subjected to a husband is unrealistic and demanding and really makes this concept of submission very, very difficult. It's not like I'm going to choose a new nature and respond this way. No, as you grow in grace, ultimately that nature is able to more be portrayed in how you deal with his shortcomings.

Also, in the illustration of the saved wife with the unsaved husband, he's led to the Lord by her submission, her yielding to God. And also if the unsaved person doesn't want to dwell with her or him, then he's free to go. He is. She's not free to go or he's not free to go as a believer. Correct. But the unbeliever is free to go. And there's no restraint in those situations. What bothers me a lot is, man, if you look at divorce today, any excuse at all for separation. Wow. what a powerless wife to respond to that if a man is unfaithful to her.

Yeah, you know, and we've seen this. In fact, Time Magazine a couple of weeks ago on the front of the magazine was, you know, marital immorality. It's a theme of the age. I mean, we've seen it publicly in so many examples. Governor of New York and Senator now from North Carolina, is that right? Our own president. I mean, on and on and on.

And that's by the way in the church too. I mean, I understand the divorce rate within the church, whatever that is, if it's a mainline church or whatever, is nearly equal now to what it is outside the church. I think there's a major reward for the wife who submits him to them and lets him go. I don't know his judgment in the eternal life.

That new nature that he's developing in each of us grows at the back. Thank you Roy. It's a growth process and it doesn't come quickly. So let's see if we can finish up. Submission does not mean blind obedience or passivity. It means giving oneself up to someone else and again for the wife being responsive and I think again this encouragement when your husband lets you down is something the guy needs. That encouragement is scripturally based and it's a soft and quiet spirit that encourages him in the Lord Jesus Christ. And I think that's really true submission played out to the benefit of the marriage. Not the benefit of him only, but the benefit of you too in terms of creating a relationship that is really from above.

So let's get into this last bit. I'm not going to read The Hungry Heart series. It's interesting, like, whenever I teach, it seems The Hungry Heart for that day has an application. Our frustrations and agonies, I am going to read it after all, our frustrations and agonies in an effort to attain the untainable, our shame and our defeats, such as we find in Romans 7, come about naturally, inevitably, when, failing to grasp all this, we put the emphasis on our conduct rather than our position, which must come first.

How about that, ladies, for a husband that's not treating you the way you think you need to be treated as Christ treats his church? I mean, our conduct is not where the response comes from. It's our relationship. And that's really God-given. So the last question I have for the class, and I wish we had more time, why doesn't God ask the wife to love her husband?

Yeah, Brad, what are your thoughts about this? Another message is, I think in Titus 2, the wives are told to love their husbands, but it's phileo-love, it's responsive love, as opposed to the initiating love of God. But it's clear that it's different. Yeah, it is different, isn't it? And I don't have an answer to this, other than scripture doesn't really deal with why God didn't ask the wife to love her husband other than thank you. Does she not love the Lord as to the Lord?

And secondly, is this already wrapped up in the Christian love for the brethren? So her husband's also included in this? I mean, when we think about our love for one another as brethren, I mean, we're demanded to love one another with an agape kind of love, an unconditional love. And in a sense, the wife is tucked into that in her relationship to her husband. Now, of course, the marital relationship carries on at another level. And that's the sexual relationship, which is, by God, wonderful in the marital setting. Right? Isn't that the church loving Christ?

Well, let's end with 1 John 4.19. What about this?

We love him because he first loved us. If someone says, I love God and hates his brother, he's a liar. For he who does not love his brother whom he has seen, how can he love God whom he has not seen? In this commandment we have from him that he who loves God loves his brother also. we love him because he first loved us.

Isn't that the way that the wife should respond to her husband too? Isn't love kind of understood, even though it's not specifically stated, that if Christ loves his church and he loves his wife, isn't her response in the same way as unto the Lord, like we love him because he first loved us? I don't think we can dismiss the fact that the wife should love her husband. first of all as a Christian brother, but secondly as unto the Lord we love him because he first loved us.

And so the marital relationship is no exception to that. It takes on a whole different level of meaning because it has a love that goes beyond the usual love simply because we're married one to another. Anyway, I found this to be a challenging lesson and I hope we reflected on it somewhat accurately today and if I'm in error will trust that the Spirit will convict me and you'll get back to me and show me how this has been taught in error here today. But I think that the marriage relationship is created from above and it's lived from above.

And we work at it by faith. And there's going to be At times we fail one another, wives and husbands, but yet ultimately there's great grace to carry on and right principles and the truth of the word applied by the Spirit to our lives is the way that happens.

Let's close in prayer. Wayne, would you close us please? Father, we thank you for this lesson this morning. We ask that you would just bring it to mind this day that would give you the thought and look at ourselves to see where we stand in this situation. We just thank you for this day and all that we learned.