Sarah's example and husbands respect your wives
1 Peter 3:5-7 · Bob Eckel · May 24, 2015
1 & 2 Peter (2015), No. 20
Holly Hills Bible Church
https://hollyhillsbiblechurch.org/teaching/messages/410261632293643

Transcribed from the recording by SermonAudio, so expect the occasional misheard word.

No screen, but I've got a handout here before you so that's why we make it and I'm having trouble getting online here this morning. Today's an electronic dilemma as far as what I'm concerned. But anyway, we'll see if we can get this pulled up here. So we're going to look at 1 Peter 5 through 7 today. Roger set the stage nicely last week for this and this is kind of a continuation. Then we're kind of going to break away from this submission theme here a little bit and move forward into the second half of 1 Peter, which we'll be covering the rest of the summer and early fall. So, since I can't pull my Bible up at least right now, I just have the three verses. Roger, could you read 1 through 7 because I think what you studied last week is important to what we're doing today.

In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands, so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives. As they observe your chaste and respectful behavior, let not your adornment be merely external, braiding the hair, the wearing of gold jewelry, or putting on a dress, but let it be the hidden person of the heart. with the imperishable quality of gentle and quiet spirit which is precious in the sight of God. For in this way in former times the holy women also who hoped in God used to adorn themselves being submissive to their own husbands. Thus Sarah obeyed Abraham calling him Lord and you have become her children if you do what is right without being frightened by any fear. You husbands likewise live with your wives in an understanding way as with a weaker vessel since she is a woman and grant her honor as fellow heir of the grace of life so that your prayers may not be hindered.

So Roger does the titles of these various lessons. Today's title is Sarah's Example and Husbands. Now, if you look at this section, we have six verses about wives and one about husbands. And that's because we're so simplistic that we need to reduce it to one verse for us, right? For two wives, we have six verses to describe your multitasking capabilities.

So I'll leave that as a preface to what's to follow here. All right, so I'm still waiting for my Bible to be electronically connected here. The modern age in which we live is not always so convenient, is it? And we're waiting for the light bulb presumably to be changed on the projector. Alright, so let's look at verse 5.

For in this mayor in former times, the holy women entrusted in God also adorned themselves being submissive to their own husbands. So the theme of submission continues here. So we've seen submission provided sequentially in terms of submission to the government, the rules of the land. We've seen submissions in relationship to the slave and his or her master. We've seen submission in relationship to the Lord Jesus Christ, who was crucified on the tree, dead and buried, and risen for newness of life. So that submission to the Lord Jesus Christ, which of course trumps everything else.

And now finally to the marriage relationship. So submission is a term that First Peter has coined and continues to project as he writes his epistle to the body of Christ. In context, do you think that this verse For in this manner, in former times, the holy women who trusted God also ignored themselves, being submissive to their own husbands. Is this only for the women who are married to unsaved men?

No. Everybody in agreement there? OK, I think that's right. By the way, you know, I thought Macaulay was pretty good here is that he, you know, he's pretty keen. Presumably he's teaching. I guess. I don't know. What gathering is this? It's a constant. It's like morning, noon, night. He teaches. I mean, just the question is, is this a day thing where mostly women are in the audience or is this a mixed audience? I think I got the feeling that it's mostly women because when they laugh, it sounds like a high pitched laugh.

He said you gals out there who are thinking when you get married that ultimately you are going to convert your husband is not what we are talking about here. You don't date an unsaved guy and marry him thinking you are going to be the missionary to your new husband.

Although that could work. Our five children were in situations where in fact that was the situation before they got married. We praise the Lord that that all got resolved before they got married. But that's not who we're talking about here. We're talking, and this is my own personal situation. When I married Sharon, we'd gone together through junior high school, high school, and college, got married before I went to medical school.

We were both unsaved. Then children started coming. And when children started coming, ultimately parenting was something we didn't know much about. Even though we'd both been parented, we were both the second child of two children family. And so when the kids started coming and Sharon and I were on the same page and she said we need some help here. So Sharon got saved. And for a year after she got saved at Bible study fellowship, I was unsaved.

So this is what is intended by this epistle for the most part. But we don't, I don't think, and you don't either, think it's restricted only to women who are married to unsafe husbands. Are we all on the same page there? Because there are multiple other scriptures that point to the role of the wife in terms of being submissive. So let's make sure we're all on the same page. All right, good. So it says for in this manner, in what manner? What manner are we talking about here? What precedes verses five through seven? One through four. One through four. How about in verse four?

Does anybody have a clue? The woman with the gentle and quiet spirit. Okay, excellent. So with the incorruptible gentle and quiet spirit is what we're talking about. That's the manner in which we need to address, if you're a wife, this particular passage. And how beautiful and uplifting this is, this idea of a wife who has an incorruptible, meaning not defiled, gentle, and quiet spirit. What's this look like, by the way? Maybe I should let the men answer that question. Yes, Tom.

Like their moms? Say what? Like a mother? Your perception is as you were growing up, the way your mother dealt with you. That relates to the qualification of the mother and she playing her role. That's good. Any other thoughts about what this looks like? I think we talked about it last week.

It's not a nagging personality. It's someone who goes about what they think is a godly way for a wife and a woman to be, but doesn't nag at her husband because he's not fulfilling a role, is a gentle spirit. I think that's what it is. How do we define gentle in terms of the spirit of a wife? Margaret says not nagging. We'll let the men describe what nagging is versus not nagging. Tom?

Force of personality versus letting the grace of God live in your life. The Christ life. Gentleness. I believe it's in Philippians 4, 5. It speaks of gentleness and it seems to mean graciousness with humility. OK. I'd describe it as beautiful and uplifting. It's quiet but yet still purposeful. It really relates to a lot of forgiveness, a lot of room. Just something that we can't describe perfectly, can we? Roger.

This is a verse that really kind of amazed me. This is a word, that word for gentle in the previous, in verse 4, that pointed back to the Matthew 1129 where Christ has described himself as being gentle. I know I am gentle and humble in heart. So I thought that was amazing. So it kind of helped me last week. And that shows that it's Christ-like. I'm going to be gentle and quiet today. Until the kids get to me and I can't take anymore of them. I think those who described it as another life are on the right page here. It's Christ-like, isn't it?

By the way, that doesn't relate to personality. I don't know about any of you who got saved as adults. Your personality doesn't change after you're saved. It's just who you are. People who are loquacious still are talkative after they get saved. And people who in fact are very quiet and have a very soft demeanor are that way after they get saved. It's a new life. It's a new life we have in Christ Jesus.

Hi Steve, how are you doing? Welcome Dr. Steve Robbins who is an advocate fellow at the university. He's with us here today. Good to see you. Nice to have you. Alright, Steve's on his way to Tampa, Florida to practice Entreprenology there. He and I were talking about the Lorcan Clinic a few weeks ago. I invited him to join us, so he's here this morning. Good to see Steve. I looked at you, and I paused, and then I looked at you, and that's Steve Robbins. So I think we did a pretty good job. Yeah, Clark, you got a message.

Dad, if you go back to verse 3, don't you think it connects the beauty with something that's an inner beauty, not a physical beauty, not something that can be changed by adornment, as it talks about? So jewelry less beauty, so that has to define it as a Christ-like beauty, correct? Which is a different... Yeah, this isn't something you work at in the flesh. This is kind of who you are in Christ. And remember, we've talked about this so often.

Do we have an active role in our faith? Absolutely. The Lord has given us his word, his word is complete and fulfilled and we have promises yet to come, but yet when we find ourselves in the nature of the person of the Lord Jesus Christ, we need to act by faith that that's who we are. So that quiet and gentle spirit of a woman, a wife, is really one in which her trust is in the Lord. And she takes a step back and trusts by faith that this is a role she must play.

All right, good. Now in former times, this could be formerly, afore time, at some time. I think here we're talking about patriarchal times. We're looking back. And as Roger entitled the lesson, Sarah's example, really relates to the patriarchal nature of the wife in the relationship of man and woman before God.

So it says the holy women who trusted, a better term here is hoped in God, trusting in God in the Old Testament. How did the women, the wives of the Old Testament era trust in God? There was no Holy Spirit, right? The Old Testament saint was not indwelled by the Holy Spirit.

So how did she, in fact, respond in a way that Sarah exemplifies? Obedience. I'm sorry? Obedience. Obedience. OK. Obedience to what? Well, there's the Jewish law, which had some obedience, but that's all. I'm sorry. Clark, what? I was just saying the lead of Abraham. All right. Abraham was a man of? I was going to say you have the word hoped here and I think that's also what they were looking forward to what the Lord had promised. They all believed the law and God was very clear about the hope of the future, I think, in the Old Testament.

Well, related verses, 1 Timothy 5.5, the real widow left all alone has put her hope in God and continues night and day in her petitions and prayers. That's good. I looked at that verse, didn't bring it forward, but thanks for bringing that up.

I think that does kind of relate to the woman of today, actually, because what's our hope? What's our hope, day-to-day basis? If it's not the rapture, you've missed a lot of scripture. The hope is the rapture, but in fact if the rapture doesn't occur before we're out of here, our hope is to be with the Lord Jesus Christ forevermore. We're eternally placed, our citizenship is in heaven, our hope doesn't relate to earthly things.

So Sarah's hope through Abraham's faith, being a man of faith, was in the things God had promised. In the Old Testament time, there was no indwelling Holy Spirit in the new nature to guide her. But she responded by faith. And this gets into a whole lesson in its own right. How do we respond by faith if we have no ability to respond in faith?

That's really theology, probably 301, graduate school work. But it's a tough question. I think many of us have struggled with that one over the years. But we'll leave it as it is. The holy women trusted or hoped in God and his promises. Now, to Israel, that was the land. But also, ultimately, the grains of sand on the sea were like the seed that Abraham would bear that ultimately would be life to the Lord Jesus Christ and the body of the leaders to follow. And this could include, I've noted here, other women such as Rebecca, Rachel, Leah, Ruth, Hannah, There's a whole list of women that could pertain to this patriarchal role of the wife in the Old Testament. OK, second page. Bill, how are we doing? Do we have any hope here? I'm not sure. OK, that's an equivocal response. All right, let's go ahead to the second page.

Can we equate being a holy woman as one who trusted in God? What do you think? Margaret says yes. In the word, when it says holy, there's a reason why that word is there. They were godly people. They may not have understood what Christ was going to be about, but they certainly trusted God.

How do we define holy? Set apart. Sanctified, set apart. Can we self-declare holiness? I don't think so. I gave you a couple of verses to ponder here in relationship to this question. Romans 12, I beseech you therefore brethren by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God, which is your reasonable service. Okay, so we present our bodies as holy.

Why are we holy? Because God is holy. Because Christ is holy. 2 Corinthians 5.21. for he made sin to him who knew no sin, that we might be made the righteousness of God in him. We are righteous, not because of anything we've done, because we're in him who had no sin and became righteousness for us that we might be declared righteous. So we are holy, even though you may not believe it from your day-to-day performance.

1 Corinthians 7.34 hits the nail on the head in relationship to this passage, I believe.

There's a difference between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman cares about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy, both in body and in spirit. But she who is married cares about the things of the world, how she may please husband. Now, does that mean she doesn't care about the things of the Lord? Paul says if you are unmarried, the things of the Lord should be everything to you day in and day out.

But if you are married that way, you get a wife here. Does that diminish or remove our responsibilities to the things of the Lord? No, what has been created is new creations in Christ Jesus. That is our life that transcends through every earthly experience.

But then, back to the wife, 1 Corinthians 7.35, and this I say for your own profit, not that I may put out a leash on you, but for what is proper and that you may serve the Lord without distraction. So this idea that you separate the necessities of being a quiet and gentle spirit with your husband doesn't distract from your relationship to the Lord. And Paul qualifies that, I think, very nicely in verse 35. I wonder if they want me to teach from up here.

Don't get on that ladder. Don't get on that ladder. That's one of these wife-husband relationships. Anyway. OK. It says, also adorn themselves. We're going to talk. We're after dealt with this a little bit last week. We're going to drill down a little bit more here today. Adorned is imperfect, active, indicative. That means it's an ongoing activity. They kept on making decisions to adorn themselves. So it's not like this is a one time only deal. It's a fact and it's a continuous action about the wife adorning herself.

And I'm saying how do you think these women look? And before you look at the verse, can you picture what Sarah was dressed like, or what kind of adornment she used? That's an inquisitive look Bill. I don't know what's going to happen. I want you to try not to get distracted here. What did these women look like? Let's then turn to the verse.

1 Timothy 2.9.10. Like Hannah Ross, the women adorned themselves in modest apparel. with propriety and moderation, not with braided hair, we'll come back to that, or gold or pearls or costly clothing, but which is proper for women professing godliness and good work. So what's that look like? How legal do we want to be for the New Testament woman who in fact is a godly wife with a quiet and gentle spirit? I think you can be appropriately dressed, but with appropriate modesty and all of those things in the culture in which you live. I think there's an appropriate way to dress outside the home, so you're not... All right.

I think sometimes we don't appreciate so much people like Bill in our body. We really don't. They're behind the scenes. They do this day in and day out. Clearly, they're not paid to do what they do. If you're a service in this regard, I want to thank Bill and others, Randy and Alright, so what would be immodest dress?

Keep in mind that a man lusts after a woman in his heart without any condition. I mean the point is I think the kind of the Baptist way etc. may go to extremes in terms of what this looks like. I think a woman herself has to make those decisions and really bounce them off her husband as to what's reasonable. You want to expand that? I think we got it. It's all over you on your clothes. That would come close, at least to being in one.

Well, some of the people that have to do with your motivation. I mean, some women, you know, if their priority is shopping, you know, or, you know, you can take over some women and that's what they spend all their time on and their money on. And, you know, they have people who. are near them that need some help, or they're ignoring those things because all they want to do is shop, and they just want to spend their money, and they have to be just like everybody else. So I think a lot of it has to do with your motivation. Some women, they dress because they want to attract men. There's a balance there. You know, you can go overboard.

And so I think a lot of it has to do with our motivation. All right, motivation's got a lot to do with it. So we'll look at that in the next verse I have cited here. Yes, James? I think it's the factor of the attention-drawing factor. Are you drawing attention to Jesus Christ through you, or are you drawing attention to yourself? All right, so again, that deals with motives, doesn't it? Yeah, it does.

And keep in mind, we're not going to put a law to this here. There's no law that we're going to apply to how a woman should dress, what kind of jewelry she should wear, how much she spends on clothes. But I think the motive, the interior motive, is hitting the nail on the head. I think 1 Peter 3, 3, 4, which Roger covered last week, is appropriate. Do not let your adornment be merely outward, arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel. Rather, let it be the hidden person of the heart, that's the motive. it's exactly what that speaks to with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle quiet spirit which is very precious and the son of the Lord. No law. No law.

But you know you think about how short can shirts be? How low can the neckline be? How costly is your jewelry? You've got to make your own decision as a godly woman. You've got to really define, you know, we don't need to go there, but this has to be spirit in terms of what you're comfortable with. But ultimately, as I mentioned, my handout don't look like a mess either.

So anyway, I give Margaret a lot of credit. In fact, when her mother was living with us and in fact, We had two women who were single who either moved from elsewhere or came in to stay with us to help out with her mother. And both these gals got married, got engaged while they were working for us and also we got married. We thought we had to continue to put up signs for young women who want to get married that they should come and spend time with us.

Margaret is a great matchmaker, although I'm not sure you had anything to do with either of those matches. But anyway, when I come home from work every day, Margaret looks lovely. You know she's not in her jeans, flip flops, no makeup. She may look that way during the day, but when I come home she looks like that every evening. She's beautiful.

And we pointed out to these young gals, I pointed out as a person representing their husband-to-be that if in fact you use that same behavior in your own house, that makes a lot of difference. And it's something I never thought about for a while. coming home every night, she looks nice, she's not dressed to go out to a formal dinner.

The point is, don't look like a mess either. This idea that to be adored internally and not externally doesn't mean you wear no makeup at any time, you wear old and ugly clothes, you look like... I don't think that's what the Lord's asking you to do here. I think there's a certain adornment of a woman that makes her female and makes her attractive, at least to her husband. And if she's dressing to be attractive to someone else, then she has to question her own motives.

But this, I think, is incredibly important. And notice that a meek and quiet spirit does not revoke looking nice. There's nothing about a meek and quiet spirit that means you can't look nice. So let me leave that. You can take it or leave it, but I feel personally that this is really incredibly important.

Okay, being submissive to their own husbands. God speaks to wives elsewhere in the New Testament. We're not going to look up these verses here, but Ephesians 5.18.

Colossians 3.18, 1 Timothy chapter 2 times chapter 2. This is not unique to 1 Peter. We'll not go there.

And I like how Macaulay defines submission. Roger, did you want to remember whether you mentioned this? ROGER A. ROBBINS, JR. Yeah, actually, I quoted that too. But Macaulay describes or defines submission as positive responses to divinely delegated authority. Let's look at that again. Positive responses to divinely delegated authority.

Now that looks pretty conditional, doesn't it? And my question then, I rose to that, but does that condone negative responses when divinely delegated authority is not evident? Well, in the first verse here, he's talking about unsaved husbands, so that's a situation that That's not God's best, obviously, to have a mixed marriage, so to speak. No, I think it doesn't condone negative responses. I mean, Macaulay may be appropriate in saying submission is to an authority that you respect, and here specifically your husband, who divinely is responding to his task as being a faithful husband.

But what if that doesn't occur? We'll come back to this. All right, questions about verse 5? All right, verse 6. If Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him Lord, whose daughters you are if you do good and are not afraid with any terror. This is conditional in terms of our relationship to Sarah. How did Sarah obey Abraham? What's the verse say?

Well, if you call him Lord, which is Hebrew, and that's in Genesis 18.12, if you want to look at the specific verse. Or in the Greek, it's Sir. So for the Gentile nations, we're calling someone Sir. Whereas in Hebrew, it's calling him Lord. So Lord doesn't put him on a pedestal.

It just is an atmosphere that surrounds the relationship based on respect. Now, it implies trust and respect. And in the absence of fear and any terror here, and by the way, this term for terror isn't the fear that we use in reverence for God or, in fact, being afraid. It's actually a term that means amazement. And it's the only time this term is used in the New Testament. So it implies trust and respect in the absence of fear and the absence of amazement, which is something that occurs unexpectedly, surprisingly, et cetera. So it's independent of that.

I love Proverbs 3.25. Do not be afraid of sudden terror or trouble from the wicked when it comes, as if it may come. In other words, in the Old Testament times, in the absence of the reigning principle of grace, you metaphorically put a sling under your jaw so it doesn't drop so far. I thought only you would come up with that. It's profound and we can ponder that as we go home today.

Thank you. I'm thinking of several other examples of this that Sarah portrayed in respect of Abraham. I've listed a couple for you. Can you think of them without looking at the handout? Remember, Roger, we should hold the handout. Except today we needed it, didn't we? I needed it. Well, how about leading for Canaan? God's speaking to Abraham. Hey, Sarah. We're leaving here. We're just going to this land I don't know much about. The Lord's telling me we've got to go there.

And we don't have any evidence she disagreed with that. That doesn't mean she's a pawn or a doormat to be walked over in terms of Abraham forcing a decision. She trusted Abraham's judgment. And remember, even though in the Old Testament the Holy Spirit was not indwelled in the man or woman of faith, God spoke to Abraham directly.

And I bet you, if God spoke to Tom directly, and Tom came to tell me what God had told him, I'd probably want to listen to that. I mean, a whole different time, a whole different principle the way God reached man in terms of the truth, that Abraham had spoken to the Lord, or in fact, vice versa, the Lord had spoken to him.

And Sarah said, good for me. Let's go to Iowa rather than Colorado. Another example, I just pulled these out of scripture. Remember when the angels came to Abraham's door and knocked? And we have some evidence of what that relationship of the angels to Abraham may have meant.

But anyway, she turned to Sarah and said, hey, can you get some sandwiches together? And we don't have any evidence that she said, gosh, I'm doing other things. I'm watching the soap opera here in the supper. She went to prepare food for these angels who showed up unawares. So anyway, neat.

Just a couple of examples that she in fact was a woman who in fact responded to Abraham in a way that a respectful wife might. Bob, what about when she went into Pharaoh's house? That was kind of a risky situation. Yeah, that's true. That's another good example. So Bonnie mentions when Sarah went into the Pharaoh's house, right? Yeah, she hung in there then, didn't she? And then Farrell rebukes Abraham, he said I didn't know it was your wife, who that was. I didn't think of that, that's good.

That's pretty amazing that she went ahead and went along with that. Alright good, some other examples, good. So I'm pointing out here, to respond to this man identifies the wife with Sarah as being daughters, as the verse proclaims. And puts her in God's will, and at times was suffering because of her husband being out of God's will. I mean, in fact, that example you just mentioned is a good example of that.

Here's Abraham not revealing to Pharaoh that Sarah is his wife. And so Pharaoh is getting interested in Sarah. So anyway, even though Abraham was out of God's will, she in fact still responded as she you would be expected to do today as a daughter of Sarah.

And I believe that God protected her. Yes. But did she earn that by her faith, do you think? Do we earn God's protection by our faith? That we're blessed by God's presence during our faith? And keep in mind, what's the will of God for all of our lives?

Each and every one of us. It's Romans 8.29 to conform to the image of the Lord Jesus Christ. And to be transformed by 1 Thessalonians.

1 Peter 3.14, we're going to be getting to in the next week or two, that even if you should suffer for righteousness sake, you are blessed, and do not be afraid of their threats, and not be troubled. This is not conditional on everything going the way you women expected it to go in terms of the events to follow in your marriage. But even, in fact, if you should suffer for righteousness sake, this is what you're called to do.

Moreover, and despite doubting Abraham initially, Sarah laughed. Remember? So in fact, what do you mean I'm going to conceive and give birth to a child? nearly 100 years old. But by faith, Sarah herself also received strength to conceive C, and she bore a child when she was past the age, because she judged him faithful who had promised. Who'd she judge faithful? The Lord. The Lord. OK. And it's Abraham that transmitted the message, right? God didn't speak to Sarah directly, but this is indirectly delivered through Abraham.

In Genesis 4.23, I kind of like, because I think it really implies a different kind of relationship that we view Sarah as being under.

That he who was of the bond woman was born into the flesh, and he of the free woman through promise. And Sarah is the free woman. Who is the bond woman? Sarah. So it's interesting to look back. The free woman is the woman who we are thinking of being submissive to her husband. And that's the model for women today in terms of what Sarah had established in the way of a relationship. But here's my point to you wives.

Don't try to imitate Sarah. That's all in the flesh. Rather, walk by the power of the spirit in the new man, Christ Jesus. So again, this isn't trying to get your mental act together and working harder at being a good wife. It's accepting the scripture for what it indicates and by faith allowing the Lord to enter that relationship in a way that he gets the glory, not you. This is not biting the bullet, hanging in there with an unsafe husband or an unloving husband who in fact is not demanding of your respect. Then the question is, why did you marry him to begin with? But by the spirit, ultimately, this is how this occurs. And to conclude about our wise guys, who can find a virtuous woman? Well, I don't know how you find her, but her worth is far above rupees. So the whole Proverbs 31 is about that godly woman, that godly wife.

And that's a chapter we all should read only too often. All right, on to verse 7. Don't be new women. You guys have multiple verses needing to address your issues, because you're so capable of multitasking and need more verses to get your attention, perhaps. One verse for guys here.

Husband, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together with the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hinged. Why husbands, likewise? I think this likewise is referring to all the verses that just were previous about wives. In fact, Peter's dealing with husbands really in the same manner. It's just now he's adding another thing for the husbands. Didn't Peter kind of establish that here's God's order of the husband to the wife and what he's saying is there should be love and respect both directions. I mean it doesn't matter whether you're the leader or you're the one being led. Responsibility is on both ends. So just don't think we're talking about the wife here. You've got a responsibility too.

And as I pointed out before, there's only one verse for husbands here and six for wives. The question is why is that? I think the possibility is that the vulnerability is much higher with unsafe husbands. And the question I would ask, don't some saved men have unsaved wives? Does anybody know anybody like that? A guy is saved, but she's not? I know very few in that direction. I can't, but you, can you think of somebody? Well, throughout my life, I have known that situation, yeah. But there could be a multiplicity of other reasons.

I mean, we don't want to overly scripturalize it to one verse for men and six for wives here. I mean, ultimately, God talks about the responsibility for both throughout scripture. Bob? Yeah. You know, when you were talking about likewise, That would really actually mean that there are seven versions for husbands and six for wives. If all the versions before are for husbands too, you know, it's the principles. Does everybody understand that point? I mean, the point is what the wife's responsibility is very much relates to the husband and his responsibilities. Absolutely. That's good. And Bob, also to be fair, in Ephesians there's a lot more talking about how the husband and child die. It's all about guys in Ephesians. The Lord, it's not like he's counting verses. We're going to come back to that in the closing.

Dwell with that with understanding. Dwell with that meaning spiritual dwelling, intellectual dwelling, emotional dwelling, and physical dwelling. We're talking about the whole life experience here. We're not just talking about one aspect. of dwelling with them. We're thinking about the entirety of the relationship that exists within marriage. Understanding what? What was our understanding? What do we need to understand about our wives? Her role. What's that? Her role. Her role, okay. I'd say everything that you can. Everything you can, okay.

Isn't the understanding, because those first six verses were talking about the wife having that faith and being the quiet and gentle spirit and all of those things and where that's coming from. So I think the understanding is actually understanding who they are. I think you've hit the nail on the head, Margaret. And I can prompt her to give you that answer. This top of page six, a better translation here is according to knowledge, gnosis. And that's really experiential knowledge. So this is a responsibility of the guy to know his wife. And I think you've pointed this out.

Under every circumstance, and getting a sense for her pulse, and having that knowledge be experiential. The first week you're married is not being married for 10 years, 20 or 50. There are new things that often get revealed over time that the guy needs to enter into in terms of where his wife is coming from and what her needs are. So it's not so much understanding, it's more the experiential relationship in terms of where you've been, where you're going, and what your role is now based on that.

Giving honor to the wife is to the weaker vessel. That's an interesting verse in many ways. Honor is to treat her as having great value and worth, being incredibly worthy. How many of you wives have husbands who treat you this way? We probably all fall short at times. But honor, treating her with honor is knowing her value and her worth in your life and to the Lord in general.

What does the weaker vessel mean here? Well, is it weaker just physically? Well, that's true for the most part. Except on the cover of Sports Illustrated, there was one who was really a Hulk. That may have been an exception to the usual example. For the most part, the female is weaker than the male for sure.

I like what the Geneva commentary said here. It says, the woman is called a vessel. So we're talking about a weaker vessel. The woman's called a vessel in Hebrew because the husband uses her as his friend and helper to live faithfully before God. I thought that was a reasonable commentation on this particular passage.

And First Colossians 4.4 says that every one of you should know how to possess his vessel in sanctification and honor, speaking to the husband. So we've got a role to play here. Occasionally, our select fury gets in the way. But nevertheless, we've got a really important responsibility to honor her and see her as a helpmate. That's why she was created, as a helpmate. and basically the next verse kind of leads into this marital relationship as God sees it.

Could that be translated as the more delicate vessel, not just weaker? Well, you know, if you look at the Greek term for weak, it's really impotent. That means no strength at all. So this is feeble. In a sense, I don't think that's the best interpretation. I like yours better.

But in fact, the Greek puts a very strong interpretation on weak, the Greek term for weak. I don't want to, in modern times, translate that as having no ability. God's weakness is greater than our strength. But the point is, from our human perspective, being weak is having no power at all, often interpreted scripturally. I think the weaker applies mostly physically. But I don't know whether it may relate more to what you're saying, James. But the term in the Greek is a very without power kind of term. I think it relates to that perfect relationship that marriage really is meant to be. So as being heirs together of the grace of life.

So now we're getting into the marriage relationship that really is such an important aspect of being one in the Lord. And that grace of life in Christ is jointly shared by husband and wife who are one in him. And remember, the Christian marriage is based on a marriage between a saved man and a saved woman to become one in Christ. And that's really, I think, what we're talking about by having her be submissive and be weaker, depending on with much trust and respect into a godly man. And that doesn't make her less and him more. It's simply a relationship that is complementary that makes them one in Christ. And if you think of the married supper of the lamb in terms of the bride and the groom, that kind of represents that very special relationship.

And just reminding you of heirs together, and children of heirs, and heirs of God, and joint heirs with Christ. Indeed, we suffer with them that we may also be glorified together. So we're all heirs of God based on our salvation experience. But in the merits now, we're one flesh and one entity before God in the perfect marriage relationship with the New Testament.

That your prayers may be not hindered. Why are the husbands, is this the husbands purse that might be hindered or is it the purse of the couple that might be hindered? In the context, when he's talking about joint heirs with Christ, it tends to reflect on both sides. I didn't hear all that Tom, I'm sorry. If you are a joint heir with your wife in Christ, I was a guardian conservator of my mom and dad in later life. I learned more about that than I did anything else through my whole previous time. They each have joint heirs. joint privileges, joint access, joint everything in and through Christ.

And that has to say a lot about working together to come up with a great solution to this or abiding in Christ with that. He's saying that it's joint, both prayers. Okay, so you think this is the prayers of the couple. rather than just the prayers of the husband. Yeah, I think that the commentators here would say it's the joint prayers of the couple that are being hindered, not those just of the husband, but we've seen the burden is put on the husband. to really honor his wife, and if in fact he is routinely falling short, that his prayers are hindered. Now, what does it mean when prayers are hindered? Well, I'm pointing out that it's as if an obstacle were obstructing the prayer.

Is that God's problem? No. And why is it our problem? And I guess the question I might ask is, is this different than any other fleshly act that's unconfessed? And that's what takes us back to the joint prayers. Prayer as a family, guess how many Christian homes where both mom and dad are saved are children being raised with prayer as a family. We're not putting a metric on this to give them a check mark for performance, it's just simply that The joint prayer makes more sense to me, because any time we take something to the Lord, but we've got a burden or an obstacle before that prayer, that prayer isn't... I mean, we need to confess and move on, is what we need to do. And I think the same thing exists in a marriage or in a home when things aren't going well. Get your act together, get these issues resolved between one another by faith, then go to the Lord, and then there's no hindrance, there's no obstruction to that prayer. But the prayer is not hindered on God's side, it's not that he doesn't hear your prayer, it's that your prayer is not perhaps as spirit motivated and as clean and pure as it needs to be when in fact we have unconfessed issues in our lives.

I'll let you deal with that if you'd like that further. So that's our final bell. So, I'm going to try to close at 8 p.m. to 5 p.m. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the children and gave himself for them. And so, the simple bottom line is, how are we doing, guys? This is a big task.

And so, I mean, I think from the husband's perspective, the burden falls on us, not on our wives. I think verse 7 trumps the first six verses because her response relates to us being authorized divinely to carry out our role as spiritual leaders in our home. And that relationship is not superior and inferior, better or less. It's ultimately one as joint heirs. And we have a major role. So even though the wives in Peter get more attention, our role is incredibly important to have her, as James pointed out, be often conditional on how we're doing.

All right. So let's close in prayer. Lord, we are thankful to gather here this morning. There's so much in this marriage relationship that you're giving us a way of details and we fall so far short because our flesh often shows up rather than our faith. So as his wives and his husbands we need to really adhere to what that guidance is that we have a new life in Christ Jesus both the wife and the husband that we have roles to play that are based on that faith and that through that relationship may we remove obstacles, have our prayers unhindered, and be jointly heirs to the throne as you have given us such privilege. In Jesus' name we pray. Amen.